Taking credit for being part of the family

STEVE SMITH

Russell Zink called us a couple of weeks ago and left a message with

a New Years Eve idea that he and Sean Callaway wanted us to consider.

Russ and Sean had never seen the Rose Parade in person, and they

wondered whether we would be interested in sharing a hotel room or

rooms for the New Year weekend, and sit in the grandstands on New

Year’s Day to watch the parade.

Cay has seen the Rose Parade live a few times, but that didn’t

dampen her enthusiasm for the idea. A huge part of it was just the

opportunity to see Russ and Sean. So, we were instantly interested

and gave Russ the green light to make the arrangements.

Although we share no blood, Russ and Sean are more uncles to our

kids than the guys on either side of our families, except perhaps

their Uncle Lewis.

So, they call Russ and Sean “Uncle Russ” and “Uncle Sean,” for

they are a part of our family. By the way, the kid’s appreciation of

them has nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that Uncle Sean owns

a candy factory.

Having compared notes on this subject with many families over the

years, it seems common that there are these types of relatives

everywhere. They are usually the very good friends of the mom or dad,

people whose presence is felt throughout the year.

My son, Roy, even knows a little boy who calls him “cousin Roy”

even though they are not related. Roy earned the title simply by

paying attention to him.

Being an aunt or an uncle should not be automatic. It’s a lofty

title that should be earned. All one has to do to earn it is care,

not by thinking or talking about caring, but by doing.

Russ and Sean have earned the titles and we are proud to include

them as part of our family.

By coincidence, Russ, who works in the credit field, e-mailed me a

blurb about credit debt among young Americans, not knowing that I had

written about this subject last week. Here is an excerpt:

“Credit card debt among young adults between the age of 25 and 34

has increased 55%, while credit card debt among the youngest adults,

between 18 and 24, has skyrocketed 104% since 1992. The average

indebted young-adult household (aged 25-34) now spends almost a

quarter of every dollar earned on debt payments while the youngest

adult households (aged 18-24) spend nearly 30 cents of every dollar

earned servicing debt.

“The findings come from a new report from New York City-based

Demos. Among other key findings: among the two-thirds of young-adult

households (aged 25-34) with incomes below $50,000, nearly one in

five with credit card debt is in debt hardship, spending more than

40% of their income servicing debt, including mortgages and student

loans, and Americans aged 25-34 have the second highest rate of

bankruptcy (just after those aged 35 to 44).

“The bankruptcy rate among 25-34 year olds increased between 1991

and 2001, indicating that Gen-Xers were more likely to file

bankruptcy than were young Baby Boomers at the same age.”

So it seems that the credit lifestyle has not only been passed

down to a new generation, it’s more out of control than ever because

it’s starting at a younger age.

The credit message starts at the top. Washington lives on credit

and is having trouble doing any better than our young Americans. As

of Oct. 29, 2004, the national debt was $7,443,388,168,490.17. Your share of that, and the share of each of your youngest children,

grandchildren or nieces and nephews (if you’ve earned the right to be

an aunt or uncle) is $25,261.04.

We live on credit, but there is a big difference between living on

credit and abusing the privilege. Washington is drunk on credit. Our

young people see that and see big businesses filing for bankruptcy

protection as though it were routine -- and maybe it is.

So, is it any wonder that they think that all of this credit

buying is OK? No one has told them it’s not OK, because we’re all

doing it. The few Paul Griffiths (the people who do not use credit)

of this country notwithstanding.

Being in debt is no way to start an adult life in America. But

more and more, that is what’s happening. The solution is to send a

better message to our kids by living within our means, by letting

them know the difference between what we want and what we need and

letting them know that 20 years from now, no one is going to think

better or worse of them because they did not have the latest gizmo.

Every good uncle knows that.

* STEVE SMITH is a Costa Mesa resident and a freelance writer.

Readers may leave a message for him on the Daily Pilot hotline at

(714) 966-4664.