Riding on the Retro

Jeff Benson

He has the youthful appearance of a Jimmy Neutron, the pompadour hair

of an Elvis Presley, the goofiness of an Ace Ventura and the

happy-go-lucky charm of a Mr. Rogers.

You can call Bill Russ clever, hyper and childish, too, but he

prefers to be called “Retro Bill,” his alter-ego who directs,

produces and stars in a DARE safety-tips video used in more than

350,000 classrooms nationwide.

“That Mr. Rogers guy -- he’s cool, but a while ago, I said I’m

going to replace the sweater with the Chuck Taylors [Converse

sneakers] with flames on them,” Retro Bill said. “And the hair. And

the positive attitude.”

Retro Bill visited the students at Harbor Day School in Corona del

Mar Wednesday to talk about name-calling, drug and tobacco

prevention, helmet and seat belt safety, and bullying issues. His

crazy antics had the kids laughing throughout two morning

performances.

“Just because you’re riding a bicycle or a scooter doesn’t mean

other drivers are paying attention,” he said. “They could be talking

on their cellphones. They could be going, ‘Aaaaagh!’ I saw one guy

talking on his cellphone this morning, going ‘Aaaaagh’ -- and

shaving!”

First-grader Madeleine Francis, 6, said she learned a lot from

Retro Bill’s lesson.

“If you’re a good role model, then people will copy you, like my

2-year-old sister does,” Madeleine said. “If I’m careful, she’ll be

careful. If I make a new friend at school, she will too.”

Retro Bill also showed the effects of careless actions, as he

slammed a helmetless Mr. Potato Head to the stage floor, causing all

of its limbs to fall off.

Later, he applauded all the kids in attendance with braces and

glasses because they’ve likely been teased about them.

“The day your braces come off, you’ll hear good things the rest of

your life,” he said. “People tell me, ‘Retro Bill, I have braces.’

And I’ll say, ‘Wow, cool! I had them too, for like four years. And

before that I was Bucky Beaver.’”

He also told kids to listen to their inner voices that can tell

them the difference between right and wrong.

“It goes a little something like this: ‘Hey, I’m going to do

something stupid! Uh-uh-uh.’ Like my grandma always said, if you

don’t have something nice to say about somebody, don’t say anything

at all.”

It’s more than a gimmick. Russ, 41, spent his entire life savings,

$250,000, and maxed out all of his credit cards to ensure that every

school in the DARE program received a video. He’s barely getting by

because he’s committed to spending everything he makes so he can give

each child a color photo they can take home to their parents. He said

nearly 40,000 police officers have promoted the video to a million

students in the national DARE program. On top of that, he said he

tours 300 days per year.

He said he’s talked with Disney, Nickelodeon and PBS networks

about the possibility of his own show, and he’s working on getting on

“Oprah.”

“I literally lived on rice cakes and tuna for a while,” he said.

“But when I’m talking to kids, I say I’m achieving my dreams, and I

say it started right here at school,” he said. “Each day you do your

homework and get good grades, you’re taking steps.”

Retro Bill, who lives in Santa Clarita in Los Angeles County, said

he hoped to use multiple cans of silly string Wednesday but decided

against it after accidentally pelting his personal assistant, Rick

Lamster, on the bridge of his nose with two cans the day before.

Lamster required stitches and didn’t attend Wednesday’s show.

“He’s supposed to be about safety,” Lamster joked.