Float your boats with care

MIKE WHITEHEAD

Ahoy.

Wednes- day is a big day for Newport Harbor, as the start of the

96th annual Newport Harbor Christmas Boat Parade presented by the

Commodores Club of the Newport Beach Chamber of Commerce. This year’s

theme is “A Winter Waterland,” which leaves a lot open to the

imagination of those decorating their kayaks, canoes, skiffs,

sailboats, motorboats, yachts, mega-yachts and whatever else will

float in the parade. I wonder if we have ever had a submarine

participate in the parade -- surfaced of course -- or an aqua car?

The boat parade will continue nightly from Wednesday to Sunday.

The parade starts at 6:30 p.m., with the boats lining up off of

Collins Island and Harbor Island. The route begins on the north side

of Balboa Island, heading toward the Balboa Island Bridge. Later, the

parade finishes back at Collins Island after cruising most of Newport

Harbor. There is a traditional regular route and a shorter route,

depending on the day. Skippers should read and follow the route

instructions in the parade sign-up forms.

For more information about the parade, or to get information where

landlubbers can view the parade, call the Newport Beach Chamber of

Commerce at (949) 729-4400 or visit https://www.christmas

boatparade.com.

As we start the festivities of Christmas Boat Parade, I have a

special treat for you:

‘Twas the Day Before Christmas Upon Newport Bay

‘Twas the day before Christmas, And all through Newport Harbor,

You could see a few boats sailing on the water,

And sea lions were resting on top of their bell buoy,

And the bell clanging with each swell passing.

The fish were happy as no hooks were around,

And the sea birds were eating, being fed by a shore crowd.

When all of a sudden there arose such a clatter,

The Mermaids swam up to see what was the matter.

The sea lions dove into the water and the boats sailed afar to be

away from the splatter.

The shore crowd looked out to see such a sight,

But the birds just continued eating to their delight.

All of a sudden, but what should appear:

The King of the Sea bringing his own Christmas cheer.

He spoke not a word but went straight to his work,

As King Neptune held up his scepter for all to see,

And out of the scepter came a lightning bolt so grand

It made a clap when it hit the land.

And to everyone’s amazement as you looked around,

Disappearing were all the storm drains that drained into his sea

from the land.

His gift for Christmas was no more polluted bay,

But I heard him exclaim, as he swam out of sight:

What starts at the drain, feeds the harbor when it rains,

And Merry Christmas to all and to all a safe voyage.

TIP OF THE WEEK

Make the Christmas boat parade enjoyable and safe for the guests

aboard your boat. You need to suggest to your invited guests the

proper attire for your boat and to bring jackets. Of course, whether

you will be on a mega-yacht or an open-cockpit vessel, the attire may

change slightly. First, remind everyone that it is a boat and to wear

the proper shoes for their safety, not to mention the boat’s decks.

High heels are common to wear to the Christmas party but not on

boats. You do not want the women wearing high heels to slip or leave

indentations in your teak decks. Also, remind everyone that the

exterior areas will get wet when the temperature reaches the dew

point later in the evening -- so careful with their attire selection.

Lastly, real boaters do not serve red wine aboard their boats. Here

is a serving tip: fill glasses only about a half- or three-quarters

full to help eliminate the spills when a landlubber is trying to walk

on a moving boat. I will be out on the water every night of the

parade. Safe voyages.

Tune in to the No. 1 boating talk radio show in the nation, “Capt.

Mike Whitehead’s Boathouse Radio Show.” It airs every Saturday from

noon to 1 p.m. on KCBQ-AM (1170). You can join me, Chandler Bell and

Eric Hovland by calling the listener line at (888) 344-1170.

* MIKE WHITEHEAD is the Pilot’s boating and harbor columnist. Send

him your thoughts and story suggestions by e-mail to

mike@boathousetv.com or visit https://www.boathousetv.com.