‘Twelve Days’ that kept a faith remembered

PETER BUFFA

It’s almost here. Are you ready? Have the stockings been hung by the

chimney with care, in the hopes that St. Nicholas so forth and so on?

No? For heaven’s sake, people, let’s get a move on. What do you

think this is -- a holiday? You only have six days left: 144 hours,

8,640 minutes, 518,400 seconds.

In the time it took you to reach this comma, (see comma, to your

left) you could have bought .75 gifts, built at least one layer of

the seven-layer cookies, trimmed two-thirds of a branch. Time is

running out, fast.

All right, all right, stay calm. Don’t stress. Try this. It always

works. Close your eyes, take three deep, slow breaths, and remember

that no matter how much pressure you feel now, it’ll get much worse

before it’s over.

Let’s see. What haven’t I told you about Christmas? By now, not

much. We’ve talked about how most of the things we associate with

Christmas -- the cards, the gifts, the colors -- started with the

Victorians in the mid-19th century and their sourly dour monarch,

Queen Victoria.

Wait. Here’s something new for your yuletide pleasure. It’s about

a Christmas carol, called “The Twelve Days of Christmas.”

“Oh, sure,” you say -- your lip curled in a sneer, your voice

dripping with derision -- “Like we don’t know all there is to know

about ‘The Twelve Days of Christmas.’”

Well here’s something you may not know, you little elf, you. Did

you know that “The Twelve Days of Christmas” is actually brimming

with hidden messages, written in code?

It all began with Queen Elizabeth. Not Chuck’s mom -- the

Elizabeth born in 1533, Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn’s little girl.

Henry VIII, as you know, had a major blowout with Rome when the

Pope refused to annul his marriage to Catherine of Aragon so he could

marry Anne Boleyn, who looked just like Genevieve Bujold.

Henry was so angry he just ate and ate and ate some more and then

established the Church of England. He named himself the head of the

Anglican Church, which as luck would have it, granted him his

annulment. Henry’s daughter, Elizabeth, took the throne in 1588 and

followed in the footsteps of His Royal Chubbiness, further

restricting the practice and the preaching of the Roman Catholic

faith. But some very clever, though long-forgotten, person devised a

simple, repetitive ditty that children could sing to help them

remember the tenets of the Catholic faith.

To begin with, exactly what are the 12 days of Christmas? They are

the 12 days between Christmas, Dec. 25, and the Epiphany, Jan. 6. To

the casual listener, “The Twelve Days of Christmas” was a charming

song about someone whose true love sends them gifts on each of the

twelve days: “On the 12th day of Christmas, my true love sent to me,

12 drummers drumming, 11 pipers piping, 10 lords a-leaping, nine

ladies dancing, eight maids a-milking, seven swans a-swimming, six

geese a-laying, five golden rings, four calling birds, three French

hens, two turtle doves, and a partridge in a pear tree.”

But here’s what it really meant to Catholics who had to practice

and teach their faith in secret:

“My true love” is God, the Father Almighty. “A partridge in a pear

tree” is the infant Jesus, cradled in a manger of wood, like a small

bird perched in a tree. “Two turtle doves” are the two parts of the

Bible, the Old and New testaments. “Three French hens” are the three

virtues -- faith, hope and charity. “Four calling birds” are the four

evangelists and their Gospels -- Matthew, Mark, Luke and John,

calling out the story of Christ. “Five golden rings” are the first

five books of the Bible -- Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and

Deuteronomy.

“Six geese a-laying” are the six days of creation, from the

creation of the light on the first day, to the creation of man on the

sixth. “Seven swans a-swimming” are the seven sacraments: baptism,

Communion, confirmation, penance, extreme unction (last rites or

anointing of the sick), holy orders (the priesthood) and marriage.

“Eight maids a-milking” are the eight beatitudes: Blessed are the

poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are the

meek, for they shall possess the land. Blessed are they who mourn,

for they shall be comforted. Blessed are they who hunger and thirst

after justice, for they shall have their fill. Blessed are the

merciful, for they shall receive mercy. Blessed are the clean of

heart, for they shall see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they

shall be called the children of God. Blessed are they who suffer

persecution for justice sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

“Nine ladies dancing” are the nine orders of angels: seraphim,

cherubim, thrones, dominations, virtues, powers, principalities,

archangels and angels. “Ten lords a-leaping?” That one is too easy:

the Ten Commandments. “Eleven pipers piping” are the twelve Apostles,

less Judas.

And the “12 drummers drumming” are the 12 articles of faith in the

Catholic Apostles’ Creed.

There you have it, from the mouths of babes, and “The Twelve Days

of Christmas” will never sound the same. It’s true -- you learn

something every century.

Have a safe and wonderful holiday. And make sure what Dickens said

about that old poop Ebenezer when the spirits got through working him

over applies to you too: “And it was always said of him that he knew

how to keep Christmas well, if any man possessed the knowledge. May

that be truly said of all of us. And so, as Tiny Tim observed, ‘God

bless us every one!’”

I gotta go.

* PETER BUFFA is a former Costa Mesa mayor. His column runs

Sundays. He may be reached by e-mail at ptrb4@aol.com.