Should children of gay couples attend St. John’s?

AT ISSUE: Catholic school leaders have allowed a local gay couple to

enroll their two young adopted boys in a Catholic school -- St. John

the Baptist -- despite the protests of some parents who want the

children removed from the classrooms. Those parents have signed a

letter demanding a pledge from the school that it will only accept

families that live by Catholic doctrine, which says that

homosexuality is sinful. Would you sign that letter? Why or why not?

And do you think the school was right to enroll the boys?

One would need the wisdom of Solomon to answer these questions.

That the parents at St. John’s desire their children to have a

“spiritual” education is something all the parents have in common.

And because this is a religious issue, it’s totally appropriate to

recall a familiar Bible story from the Old Testament.

Everyone remembers the story of baby Moses floating in a basket

down the river in Egypt, but not everyone remembers Moses’ mother

(Exodus. 2: 5-10). About 1440 BC, Pharaoh ordered the midwives to

execute all Hebrew males because he was threatened by the Hebrews’

number and strength. Moses’ mother hid him for three months. Then she

put him in a basket, whereby the Pharaoh’s daughter scooped him up

from the river and brought him into the royal court, where he stayed

for 40 years. Moses’ mother’s first priority was to protect her

precious boy.

Just like Moses was shielded, protected, separated, and his life

spared, I believe all St. John’s parents, whether they are directly

involved in the controversy, should think about what the best

spiritual environment is for their children. It is very unlikely that

this problem is going to be resolved in a short time. In the bigger

picture, the life of each child attending St. John’s is more

important than who “wins” this battle, which could take years.

Kids can’t wait. While this is being resolved, all the children

must be educated in a stress-free environment, where they can be

children and not given adult burdens. Parents of all the children

have to count the cost of this battle and think about the effects,

short and long term, on their families and each child. Children do

not do well in hostile environments. They need and deserve peace and

love.

In our postmodern culture, we are seeing institutions undergo

changes we could not have imagined. Secular humanism and moral

relativism, already firmly rooted in public education, have crept

into our churches and church schools. Truth is relative to some but

absolute to others. Confusion abounds. It’s difficult to be a parent

and raise your kids with traditional values rooted in religion these

days.

About 20 years ago, David Elkind wrote “The Hurried Child.” I read

it because I thought my kids were growing up to become adults too

fast. Elkind’s helpful philosophy gave me permission to “protect” and

“shelter” my kids. Elkind’s principles also work today. Are the kids

getting stressed out over this? Are they confused? Are there hurt

feelings? What effect is it having at home? At the dinner table? In

the classroom? Are friends now enemies? At what point does wisdom say

it is better to retreat and search out a peaceful, safe and more

spiritual learning environment?

Sometimes taking the high road means we as parents do what is

right for our kids at the time and let God take care of the battle.

Baby Moses grew up to be a man and led his people out of Egypt

into the Promised Land. Moses’ mother did the right thing to find a

creative way to protect her son. Her decision saved his life.

* WENDY LEECE is a parent who lives in Costa Mesa and a former

Newport-Mesa school board member.

This is about a lot more than education, but I’ll focus on the

educational aspects as much as possible. I can’t even imagine signing

any letter whose purpose is to deprive kids of the education to which

they are entitled.

None of the parents are sitting daily in the classroom with each

other, so the relative morality or “sinfulness” of any of the parents

involved is irrelevant.

Schools are about only kids and education. If you have problems

with either at your school of choice, you have a right to complain

and make an effort to remedy the problem. What you think about

another parent’s lifestyle choice has nothing to do with education

and is therefore not qualified to be part of any education

discussion.

The parents who created this controversy have no business

trampling on another child’s education, and their actions will affect

many people in ways that they probably didn’t consider before

launching this ill-advised campaign. Most people will recognize the

impact that this may have on the kids of the gay parents. Also

impacted will be the kids of the complaining parents. They have to

show up daily at St. John’s and sit next to the kid their dad is

trying to bully out of school. That has to hurt on some level and is

definitely detrimental to their own kids’ education.

The rest of the student body and faculty will be distracted by

this to some degree, and valuable time that should be spent educating

will be lost to managing the controversy.

The school was right to enroll the kids and is to be commended for

standing by them in the face of a controversy that harms all

involved. Catholicism, Christianity in general, and every other major

religion all have at their heart fundamental principles of tolerance

and love for your fellow man.

Ignoring those principles in an effort to forcibly impose one’s

own beliefs and morality on another has a long history of failure.

Hopefully, the natural resiliency of kids will spare any of them of

long-term effects as they grow up. They’ll probably learn some

valuable lessons from this about tolerance and respect for others

that the complaining parents have clearly not learned, so it’s not a

total loss for education.

* MARK GLEASON is a parent in Costa Mesa.