Hold your tongue
CINDY TRANE CHRISTESON
Editor’s note: Cindy Trane Christeson is taking a short sabbatical.
Here is her column from Aug. 28, 1999.
“I have lived in this world just long enough to look carefully the
second time into things that I am the most certain of the first
time.”
-- JOSH BILLINGS
I picked my daughter Amy up from work recently, and we headed over
to a nearby store to treat ourselves to frozen yogurt.
The woman working there smiled at us as we walked in, and then the
phone rang. She answered it, and Amy and I analyzed the flavor
selection. Amy told me about her day at work. A few minutes went by,
and I looked over to the woman on the phone, but she just kept on
talking. A few more minutes went by, and Amy and I looked longingly
at the topping selections.
“It seems like she could put her friend on hold while she helped
us,” I said.
The woman kept talking while winding the phone cord around her
fingers. She smiled at us rather sheepishly. I decided she must be
talking to her boyfriend. Amy and I looked at the frozen yogurt
machines and then back at each other. I wondered if we should just
leave. But I was still happy talking to Amy, and we really did want
frozen yogurt, so we waited. And waited.
“Well, I don’t think I’ll be putting anything in the tip jar,” I
said to Amy.
Just then the woman hung up the phone and practically ran over to
us.
“I am so sorry to have kept you waiting so long,” she said.
Apparently it had been her boss on the phone, and she had left him
many messages throughout the day. She needed to tell him that she
needed help, that her co-worker was two hours late and that the last
crew left the place in shambles.
“What can I get you?” she asked. “I really am sorry, but I just
had to talk to him. I’ve waited hours.”
I paid and left a bigger tip than normal. I was ashamed of my
negative thoughts.
“Wow! There’s a great example of how easy it is to judge someone
and be totally wrong,” I said to Amy, while we ate our desserts, and
she agreed.
The woman rushed around cleaning the other tables.
“I’ve been trying to do that for hours. Again, thanks for your
patience,” she said with a weary voice.
“It’s no problem. We’re sorry you are so short-handed,” I said.
Just then, a mother and two rambunctious boys walked in. Actually,
the boys romped in and the mother slumped in. While they argued about
the acceptable size of yogurts, an older couple walked in. After a
few minutes, the man started tapping his foot impatiently.
Amy and I thanked the woman again as we left.
We’re all familiar with the Bible verse that tells us not to
judge. I found an interesting translation of the verse that says “Try
to show as much compassion as your father does. Never criticize or
condemn -- or it will all come back on you. Go easy on others, then
they will do the same for you.”
I had clearly misjudged that overworked woman. I pray that each
time I’m tempted to do that again, I stop before I get started and
remind myself to go easy on others.
I sure hope they go easy on me. And you can quote me on that.
* CINDY TRANE CHRISTESON is a Newport Beach resident who speaks
frequently to parenting groups. She may be reached via e-mail at
cindy@onthegrow.com or through the mail at 537 Newport Center Drive,
Box 505, Newport Beach, CA 92660.
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