‘Precinct’ an assault on your senses
“Assault on Precinct 13” is the typical boilerplate riff that makes
one yearn for the “Die Hard” years -- when plots were as airtight as
the Titanic and acting was dreadfully secondary to action; a time
when character development, narrative, and common sense could easily
be surmounted with an exhilarating gunfight or gratuitous explosion.
Unfortunately for this flick, most moviegoers’ nostalgia is
running low for carelessly strung together episodic wastes of time
that combine every little cliche from movies past.
The gist is absolute tripe. A traumatized and drug addicted police
captain (Ethan Hawke) is relegated to watching a ramshackle police
station with his motley staff on a dismal New Year’s Eve.
When a renegade officer (Gabriel Byrne) lays siege to the station,
the captain is forced to ally himself with miscreant gangsters led by
a notorious criminal (Lawrence Fishburne). This quixotic cop attempts
to regain his courage in a foolhardy attempt at saving the day from a
rabble of corrupt cops. This is a pathetic Alamo of sorts, except
this one won’t be remembered.
The performances are dreadfully pathetic. Interminable subplots
lead nowhere and extract nothing but indifference. As far as the
acting, it seemed like everyone was completely distracted. Fishburne,
Bryne and Hawke make up the most lackluster trio in recent history.
And the impetus, the ostensible action film that it is being hawked
as, is cumbersome, tedious and heavy-handed.
Overall, this flick is as dry as Oscar Wilde and the story is as
substantial as Calista Flockhart’s diet. The brevity of the film is
its only redeeming factor.
* EVAN MARMOL is Laguna Beach resident. He graduated from UC
Irvine with a degree in psychology and social behavior. He can be
reached at Evan_Marmol@hotmail.com.
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