‘Hitch’ serves up male view of dating

PEGGY J. ROGERS

“Hitch” is not meant to be taken seriously. The characters don’t

tackle world problems, save lives or run for their lives. What the

romantic comedy does do is provide a few hours of laughs about the

neurotic agonies single people endure during those first

make-or-break dates with the opposite sex.

Will Smith stars as Hitch, a self-proclaimed love doctor working

with men who are frogs that want to be changed into princes in order

to woo and win the women of their dreams. Hitch knows what buttons to

push to get a woman’s attention. Up until now, every one of his

clients has gotten what they wanted.

Unlike the men he coaches, Hitch uses his techniques to simply

woo. His heart doesn’t seem to be in the pursuit or conquest anymore

because, for Hitch, it’s not challenging. He knows he is going to get

the girl. That presents a problem Hitch doesn’t have time for because

he’s too busy tackling his greatest challenge to date.

Albert is a bumbling white-sock wearing accountant who’s

hopelessly in love. He can’t make it through lunch without turning it

into a catastrophic mess. He doesn’t need a girlfriend as much as he

needs a mother to take care of him, or at least a dedicated valet.

Albert doesn’t believe he even deserves to speak to, much less

date, one of the richest and beautiful women in New York, but Hitch

takes him on as a client. Even though Albert has hired Hitch to tell

him what to do, he doesn’t always follow orders. Whether it’s

learning how to dance, kiss or make conversation, Albert is a

know-it-all but still likable, eager to bring his own ideas into the

mix.

That causes a lot of frustration for Hitch. That frustration

increases and begins to grow out of control when Hitch begins

striking out on his dates with Sarah, a gossip columnist.

“Hitch” is a guy flick. It’s refreshing to get the dating

perspective from the point of view of a man’s shaky self-esteem.

On the surface, the men that Hitch helps are the “before” pictures

in before-and-after advertisements -- homely men who have fallen in

love with women that could be models for Vogue. But that is how men

see their women -- beautiful, sexy and potentially out of their

league. After all, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Kevin James, as Albert, holds your attention to a greater extent

than Smith. Having honed his comedic timing for more than five years

on the hit sitcom “King of Queens,” James is believable playing the

stumbling nervous suitor. Fortunately, some of the funniest moments

didn’t make it into the movie’s trailer, so the audience can be

surprised.

For moviegoers who enjoy feel-good movies and light, fluffy

comedies, put “Hitch” on your want-to-see list.

* PEGGY J. ROGERS, 40, produces commercial videos and

documentaries.

‘Cursed’ gets what it deserves

Typically, a new Wes Craven scarefest is one of the big October

horror releases. Releasing “Cursed” on Oscar weekend should be a

tipoff about the overall quality of this movie.

Instead of “Cursed,” the title should have been “Stunk.” This

movie is 100% awful. Releasing it on a weekend when no one will talk

about new releases is a clever way to brush dirt under the rug.

The two main characters are Jimmy (Jesse Eisenberg) and Ellie

(Christina Ricci), orphaned siblings living together in their

parents’ house. Physically speaking, it’s hard to believe that

Eisenberg and Ricci are brother and sister. It’s possible that one of

them bears a keen resemblance to the neighborhood UPS driver, but

we’ll never know for sure.

The family photos suggest their parents’ death is fairly recent,

within days or weeks. Happily, Jimmy and Ellie seem to have gotten

over this tragic loss very quickly. All we know is that mom and dad

have died and very conveniently provided them with a large suburban

house.

So the movie doesn’t have a back story about the characters and

not much thought was put into casting. It’s just a b-horror film, and

you sometimes have to lower expectations for these movies.

Enter Scott Baio and Craig Kilborn, playing themselves. This is

your cue to lower your expectations again. No ... you need to go even

lower. This is Chachi appearing on a late night talk show that no

longer exists.

The basic gist of “Cursed” is a werewolf story. You get bitten and

therefore you’re cursed. When you see a werewolf movie, you look

forward to spectacular make-up. The transformation from human to

inner beast has provided Oscar statues to some truly brilliant

make-up artists.

Again, “Cursed” blows it here. Craven chooses to do everything

with computer animation, and the results are weak. There’s nothing

remotely human about these werewolves, and that’s a huge mistake.

What Craven doesn’t get is that making a PG-13 movie that kids can

see doesn’t make it OK to use childish characters who have no concern

about the consequences of their actions.

Like “Freddy vs. Jason,” this is another case of Craven making a

stupid movie for stupid people. * JIM ERWIN, 40, is a technical

writer and computer trainer.