Happy trials on happy trails

CINDY TRANE CHRISTESON

“Marriage begins when two people make the clear, unqualified promise

to be faithful, each to the other, until the end of their days. That

spoken promise makes the difference. A promise made, a promise

witnessed, a promise heard, remembered, and trusted -- this is the

groundwork of marriage. Not emotions. No, not even love. Not physical

desires or personal needs or sexuality. Not the practical fact of

living together. Not even the piercing foresight or some peculiar

miracle of all-seeing God. Rather, a promise, a vow, makes the

marriage ... for we create, in this promise, a new thing, a

changeless stability in an ever-changing world.

“We do the thing that God does, establishing a covenant with

another human being: We ask faith in our faithfulness to that

covenant. We transfigure the relationship thereafter, transfiguring

ourselves, for we shape our behaviors by the covenant. A new ethic

has begun for each of us. We have called forth a spiritual house in

which each of us may dwell securely. Whether we know it or not, it is

a divine thing we do, and it is holy.”

-- WALTER WANGERIN JR.

This weekend marks the first anniversary of our daughter Amy and

her husband Tyson. My husband, Jon, and I have been blessed with two

incredible sons-in-law, and we are thrilled with the many ways God

answered our prayers for the right husbands for our daughters. I

recently looked at pictures from Amy and Tyson’s wedding, and was

reminded again of the joy of that day, shining forth in their eyes

and their expressions, and also in those who celebrated with them. We

knew that day that the young couple was sincere in the promises made

in front of friends and family. Their vows reflected not only their

love and commitment to each other, but also to God, and their first

year of marriage has continued to reflect that commitment.

I am thankful for the marriages of our daughters and their

husbands, and I am excited at the news of upcoming weddings of other

fine young men and women who are committed to God and to one another.

In an age of increasing divorce rates, I am encouraged to see young

couples take their vows and commitments seriously.

A few years ago, Jon and I went to the anniversary of some friends

of ours. I remember that the wife read the card we gave them, then

looked at it again and began laughing. She explained that she had

read something incorrectly but that the wrong version was true too.

One sentence used the phrase, “happy trails to you,” but she read it

as “happy trials.” She then said that there are plenty of trials

along the trails of marriage but that she and her husband were

committed to each other for the long haul.

My friend was right, there are trials in marriage, and there are

times when we don’t “feel” in love. But, love is more than a feeling,

it is a decision, and marriage is a decision and a declaration of a

vow of staying true to one another, through thick and thin, for

better or for worse.

When I think about the way Amy and Tyson look at each other, it

makes me smile. They already have a maturity and stability that shows

the depth of their love and the promise they intend to keep. They

also have a lot of fun as they grow in their love and life together,

and I wish them happy anniversary and happy trails. I pray that God

would help all of us who are married to keep our commitments when we

encounter trials along our marriage trails.

And you can quote me on that.

* CINDY TRANE CHRISTESON is a Newport Beach resident who speaks

frequently to parenting groups. She may be reached via e-mail at

cindy@onthegrow.com or through the mail at 537 Newport Center Drive,

Box 505, Newport Beach, CA 92660.