Young victims honored

Marisa O’Neil

Sally Kanarek, founder of Costa Mesa’s Parent Help U.S.A., and three

volunteers released blue and white balloons to remember children

killed and injured by abuse. April is national Child Abuse Awareness

month and Kanarek’s organization seeks to educate parents to guide

and raise children without hitting them.

During the small memorial, held just hours before a jury convicted

Alejandro Avila of kidnapping and murdering 5-year-old Samantha

Runnion, Kanarek recalled the girl’s memory.

“Everyone called Samantha ‘America’s little girl,’” Kanarek said.

“We want her loss to mean more. We want people to realize this is a

preventable problem.”

The group gathered near the grave of Lisa Morales, a child abuse

victim, who died in 1992 at the age of 4, Kanarek said. Whether at

the hands of a parent or a stranger, abuse causes immense physical

and psychological harm to children, she said.

“Today’s victim can be tomorrow’s victimizer,” Kanarek said.

Newport Beach resident Viviane Oglevie, a family and child

counselor who volunteers at Parent Help U.S.A., said that child abuse

even in affluent cities is more prevalent than most people realize.

She urged parents to observe Spank Out Day on Saturday and think

of other ways to discipline a child.

“That means to teach and give instruction in what is expected,

correcting misbehavior,” she said. “Talking works better than

hitting. Corporal punishment teaches children to become bullies.”

Oglevie teaches a class at Parent Help U.S.A. called Peaceful

Parenting. In it, she teaches techniques like “Time In,” when a

parent sits a child on his or her lap and talks about what’s causing

the misbehavior, rather than placing the child in a corner or facing

a wall.

“All children really want to please their parents,” she said.

Many parents hit not because they are bad parents, but because

they haven’t learned other ways to discipline, Kanarek said.

“I’d like to see the governor provide parenting classes to all

rather than court-order them after the abuse has already happened,”

she said.

Venancio Pita, 14, was at the cemetery with his mother, Maria

Rauda. Rauda attends classes at Parent Help U.S.A.

He said he’s happy with the changes in his mother since she

started the classes.

“She used to scream at us all the time,” he said. “Now we talk it

out.”

* MARISA O’NEIL covers public safety and courts. She may be

reached at (714) 966-4618 or by e-mail at marisa.oneil @latimes.com.