Ditka wins ‘Screaming’ match

The game of soccer has become a serious part of mainstream American

childhood. The packed theater I saw, full of 10-year-old kids eagerly

watching “Kicking and Screaming,” demonstrates the hunger for a

family-friendly soccer flick.

The kids were rewarded with several chuckles and a dozen good

belly laughs that peppered this otherwise forgettable rehash of the

“Bad News Bears.” The soccer dads and moms attending the show will

not feel as satisfied as their children.

Robert Duvall and Will Ferrell are cardboard cutouts as the father

and son rivals coaching opposing teams. Duvall is the hard-charging

taskmaster who drives his boys to excel. Ferrell’s caffeinated

character teaches all the wrong things to his youngsters, who play on

the worst team in the league. They have no discipline, no work ethic

and no game plan.

Ferrell’s winning solution includes cheating, intimidation and

humiliation. He uses Italian ringers, who play at a professional

level, to embarrass his opponents. Though definitely funny at times,

it’s not the kind of sportsmanship most parents would want to impart

to their kids. Farrell’s last-minute speech regretting his unsavory

actions is hardly compensation for the selfish and thoughtless advice

he imparts to his players through most of the movie.

It’s Mike Ditka, playing himself, who steals the show. The retired

Chicago Bears coach is Duvall’s neighbor and adversary in their lawn

wars. The cantankerous Ditka joins forces with Ferrell and helps the

team find integrity and balance, in spite of Ferrell’s over-the-top

persona.

He is the saving grace in this amusing but crass commercial

enterprise that recycles every cliche of the genre.

* JOHN DEPKO is a Costa Mesa resident and a senior investigator

for the Orange County public defender’s office.

‘Layer Cake’ a tasty treat

“Layer Cake” is a smart, stylish crime thriller that features a

plot too good to fully reveal here. This latest, and certainly one of

the best, in British neo-noir gangster dramas is adapted by J.J.

Connolly from his own novel and directed by Matthew Vaughn, who

produced “Snatch” and “Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.”

It also features a memorable leading man, Daniel Craig, who has

been rumored to be the next James Bond. Blessed with a taut, sculpted

face and piercing blue eyes, Craig is probably most familiar in the

United States as Paul Newman’s son in “Road To Perdition.” His

deadpan delivery lends itself equally to menace, black humor and

seduction.

As the narrator and unnamed central character XXXX, Craig smugly

introduces himself to us as “a businessman whose commodity happens to

be cocaine.” He prides himself on taking care of his customers, crew

and boss honestly and efficiently, and he is planning an early

retirement. He’s got it all figured out, all under control.

However, his plans are seriously sidetracked when big boss Jimmy

Price (Kenneth Cranham) asks him to find the daughter of equally

scary crime lord Eddie Temple (Michael Gambon).

XXXX, like all good film noir characters, finds himself more and

more trapped in a situation he did not create or want. This involves

a huge stash of Ecstasy, Serbian gangsters, numerous two-bit thugs

and, of course, a cool blond (Sienna Miller) who may prove to be his

undoing.

The acting is first rate. Stylish henchmen Gene (Colm Meaney) and

Morty (George Harris) can be your best buddies one moment and

shockingly violent the next.

There are enough characters, twists and double-crosses upon

double-crosses in this story to make your head spin. But if you stay

with it, “Layer Cake” will leave you very satisfied, indeed.

* SUSANNE PEREZ lives in Costa Mesa and is an executive assistant

for a financial services company.