Censuring these party animals

This week we asked our parent panelists: What lessons can be learned

from reports about a high school party in Newport Coast which

allegedly was attended by about 300 teenagers and featured drugs,

alcohol and vandalism?

By Mark Gleason

What lessons need to be learned and how can everybody not already

have learned them? We can start with why parents leave their houses

to teenagers and expect that nothing will happen. When has that ever

been a good idea?

In my considerable experience as both teen and parent, the answer

is: never. I’m sure that there are some exceptions, but what really

good things could happen if you leave the teens at home to their own

devices? I can’t think of many, so why does some version of this

story happen all the time?

We can also ask what the kids are thinking. When does the party

ever stay just an intimate gathering of a few friends? Maybe when you

can keep it nearly a secret, but that’s pretty much impossible when

every kid has a cell phone. Three hundred people are just a few text

messages away. Once you get past the first hundred or so, things

start to get pretty hard to manage, so that might be a clue that

perhaps it’s time to start shutting it down.

Sorry if I don’t seem too sympathetic, but that’s probably because

I don’t have much sympathy for any of those involved. All the things

wrong with this picture are just too obvious. We’d all like to

believe that our kids just wouldn’t do anything that dumb, but we’re

talking about teenagers here, so doing dumb things is just what comes

naturally.

“Trust, but verify” is the only approach that makes sense. If

parents need or want to leave the teens at home for an extended

period, it’s probably a good idea to have a friend or neighbor

looking in on a regular basis. Kids might consider actually inviting

a limited number of people to a party rather than just seeing who

shows up. A little common sense goes a long way on this topic.

I don’t think I learned any lessons, but I’m pretty sure the

parents and kids involved have.

By Wendy Leece

I am sickened that an ailing grandmother would have to endure such

humiliation in her own bedroom from Newport-Mesa kids who reportedly

have the gall to have a party in her home, blow marijuana smoke in

her face and then vandalize it. But where is the outrage? Like the

rape case involving Greg Haidl and his two friends, this is a wake-up

call that kids growing up in this toxic culture need more adult

attention and supervision, not less.

This is not a “kids will be kids” issue. This was blatant

vandalism and disrespect. There will be more similar parties unless

parents try to understand how this happened, commit to always knowing

where their kids are and require the teen hosts to make full

restitution for the damages.

With the same energy, money and creativity that went into planning

grad-night events last week, parents need to be on their watch. With

cell phones, teens learn about an unchaperoned party within minutes.

Sometimes parents are supervising, but kids sneak in alcohol. Or,

sometimes parents know the kids are drinking, but don’t care.

Those who want to permanently remove Judeo-Christian values from

public life are winning, and we are seeing the result of their hard

work. Problem is, when the traditional values are diminished, a

vacuum is created and there is no inner moral compass to control

selfish, destructive behavior and compel self-control and courage to

say no. Judeo-Christian values were the moral backbone of

communities, but relativism and systematic removal of the Ten

Commandments from public life, with the admonition to “honor your

father and mother,” are paving the way for more chaos.

These leaders for tomorrow from affluent homes showed they have

difficulty discerning right from wrong and the courage to stand up to

their peers when drawn to an unchaperoned party with drugs and

alcohol. They may score high on the SATs and be headed for Ivy League

schools, but it’s clear they are failing in the character department.

If we really love our kids, we will renew our commitment to be

responsible, active parents, sacrificing ourselves for their welfare.