Film is wedding wreck

In Mel Gibson’s movie “What Women Want,” we learned the way to a

woman’s heart is to understand her needs, be sensitive and empathize

with her feelings. “Wedding Crashers” teaches us that the way to get

a woman naked is to be really good at pretending to do all of those

things and that ultimately women really just want men who are good at

faking it.

“Wedding Crashers” is about two men -- John Beckwith (Owen

Wilson), and Jeremy Klein (Vince Vaughn) -- who pretend to be invited

guests at weddings as a way to meet women for sex. They do a little

research on the bride and groom, invent fake identities and then say

whatever is necessary to get their targets into bed.

Although it’s refreshing to see a movie that is honest about how

men will do virtually anything for sex, especially lie, it’s just too

bad this movie isn’t funnier.

As the story moves forward, John and Jeremy crash the wedding of

the daughter of U.S. Secretary of the Treasury William Cleary

(Christopher Walken). At the wedding, John sees a bridesmaid named

Claire (Rachel McAdams), who is the Secretary’s daughter. For John

and Claire, it’s love at first sight.

Unfortunately, Claire has a boyfriend named Sack (Bradley Cooper),

who’s an inconsiderate heel. Sack’s family are politically

influential and the marriage between him and Claire will unite two

powerful families. So who will she choose, the abusive upper-crust

snob whose political connections appeal to her father, or the caring

womanizer/bridesmaidizer who’s sincerely fallen in love? If only

predicting winning lottery numbers was this easy.

The subplots include Jeremy’s connection with the Secretary’s

other daughter Gloria (Isla Fisher). The chemistry between Fisher and

Vaughn is terrific, and Fisher is absolutely hilarious. Gloria’s

raging nymphomania is the least of her mental difficulties. She and

the rest of the quirky Kennedy-esque family provide most of the

movie’s laughs.

Jane Seymour plays Walken’s wife, who also has designs on bedding

Owen Wilson. It’s disappointing that this part of the story just

disappears, instead of continuing as an obstacle for Wilson’s

character to overcome.

“Wedding Crashers” is a bizarre version of the usual romantic

chick flick. It’s full of kinky sex and topless women. Those are both

things that usually aren’t a part of these stories about the journey

to discover the meaning of true love.

It feels like the script was written by someone who managed a

focus group and decided a story full of the droll cliches of a

storybook romance would sell better if the some of the characters

behaved like a late night movie on Cinemax. Women would love Rachel

McAdams’ smile and Owen Wilson’s boyish charm. Men would love all of

the sex and female nudity. Combining the two would create the perfect

date movie.

The problem is that the story requires you to accept so many

things that just aren’t believable on any level. Comedy isn’t funny

if you just don’t buy into the way the characters talk and behave.

Wilson and Vaughn don’t really click together as a comedy team. They

both tend to play to the camera instead of the other actors, and when

the two of them are together, it doesn’t always work.

“Wedding Crashers” does have its moments, but this isn’t a movie

that I’d recommend seeing in a theater. At best, it’s a renter or you

can just wait a few months for it to show up on cable.

* JIM ERWIN, 40, is a technical writer and computer trainer.

‘Factory’ a magical children’s flick

“Charlie and The Chocolate Factory” is a synergistic children’s

movie. It is synergist because the sum is greater then the parts. And

the effect is somewhat magical.

In movies, the effect can be created by manipulating the

beginning, middle and end of the story. Instead of creating a linear

start to finish story, “Charlie and The Chocolate Factory” starts at

different places in the story for the leading characters, Charlie and

Willy Wonka. Although the two leads are the main thrust of the film,

the audience’s attention is cleverly diverted to the dazzling and

entertaining antics at a candy factory.

Not just any candy factory, mind you, but Willy Wonka’s. Charlie

and four other kids win a daylong tour of the factory by Mr. Wonka

himself. Although the movie seems to be about a bunch of bratty kids

falling into one mishap after another, at the end “Charlie and The

Chocolate Factory” evolves into a movie about the human condition. It

is about what makes humans human.

In the movie, kids turn out to be functional adults, similar to

making fudge brownies with all the right ingredients. Just as too

much of one or more ingredients results in bad tasting brownies, so

it is with kids. Too much of a good thing spoils kids and makes them

turn out rotten.

Charlie’s companions on the trip suffer from too much pride,

greed, anger and gluttony. Their actions and behavior leave a bad

taste for those who must endure their antics.

Too little of a good thing does not spoil kids, but it can cause

them to grow up into undeveloped adults, dysfunctional adults who

lack the social skills needed to interact and work well with others.

The reclusive and rather oddball eccentric Mr. Wonka is such an

adult.

Just the right amount of ingredients, however, will create a

well-balanced child who becomes a functional adult. Charlie embodies

all that is good and necessary to make a kid turn out right.

Under the guise of being a silly children’s story, “Factory” turns

out to be a formula for making good human beings. Even before the

movie ends, the audience is treated to the not-so-secret ingredients

every kid needs to become a decent human being. It is what happens to

the good and bad kids at the end of the film that is the real treat

for the audience.

There are many reasons to see “Factory.” Johnny Depp’s performance

as Willy Wonka is flawless. Director Tim Burton’s interpretation of

the story and attention to detail is almost more than the audience

can absorb in an hour and 45 minutes.

There are so many inventions, gadgets, strange places, people and

behavior to look at that “Charlie and The Chocolate Factory” has to

be looked at more than once, if only to see the Oompa Loompas work,

dance and sing one more time. “Charlie and The Chocolate Factory” is

a children’s film for kids of all ages and worth the price of

admission

* PEGGY J. ROGERS, 40, produces commercial videos and

documentaries.