Scared so our insides are all jelly

Here’s a scary number: 100,000. Now here’s something even scarier:

hundreds of thousands.

And that, plain and simple, is how many jellyfish Newport Beach

lifeguards have reported seeing in the water over the past weeks.

If you don’t believe the hype, you haven’t been to the beach,

because the black jellyfish -- reportedly never seen here before --

have been everywhere. Floating in the water. Washing up on shore

(where they still can sting you if you touch them). Being carted away

by lifeguards in barrels. Renting out a beachfront home and throwing

parties worthy of the Fourth of July.

OK, maybe they aren’t everywhere. And maybe we’re overreacting,

given that the stings aren’t life-threatening. But they do hurt, and

it’s been so hot and the water so warm that we want to swim, surf and

lounge all day. Not being able to is enough to get us just a bit

hysterical.

We did manage to refrain from crying, “Get out of the water!” But

just barely. But now that it seems that the jellyfish have left,

we’ll save that cry for something more terrifying.