There’s no moral to the tales in ‘Brothers Grimm’

If you saw any five-minute clip from “The Brothers Grimm,” you would

see great production values, first-rate special effects and the

promise of an interesting story. Enchanted forests, tidbits of fairy

tales and unexpected adventures unfold in 19th century Germany. But

when you put the all the scenes together, you get two tedious hours

of quirky fantasy without purpose or meaning.

Played by Matt Damon and Heath Ledger, the Grimm brothers are

depicted as traveling con men. They hoodwink local villagers with

phony exorcisms of witches and demons that don’t really exist. Their

escapades come to the attention of the authorities and land them in

several unfunny scenes of torture and humiliation. They are set free

to help investigate the mysterious disappearance of several children

in a small village.

The plot that follows is contrived and chaotic. There’s some good

acting by Damon and by Lena Headey as the trapper’s daughter who aids

the brothers. But they stand in contrast to several brainless

characters with bad accents played like cartoons. The dialogue and

visuals seem like interesting ideas thrown into a blender and poured

out as an abstract painting to a Monty Python soundtrack.

Viewers are taken on a sometimes funny but very bumpy ride that

will leave them worn out and lost in the woods. Too grim for young

children and too silly for older audiences, it’s an expensive and

magnificent mess of a movie.

* JOHN DEPKO is a Costa Mesa resident and a senior investigator

for the Orange County public defender’s office.

Spanish film has dark laughs in vibrant color

The new Spanish comedy “El Crimen Ferpecto” proves that funny is

funny in any language.

A black comedy with the gaudy colors of a cartoon, it’s the story

of Rafael (Guillermo Toledo), a suave salesman in the ladies

department of a top department store. In his world, he is a king in a

silk suit surrounded by sexy salesladies (all of whom he has bedded

in the store after hours). Rafael’s dream is to someday be the floor

manager and live an elegant life. His worst fear is to be mediocre.

When his archival, the badly toupeed Don Antonio (Luis Varela), is

promoted instead, Rafael’s dreams begin to fade. An ensuing argument

becomes violent, and Don Antonio is accidentally killed. Panic

stricken, Rafael tries to cover up the death, but the body suddenly

goes missing.

He is contacted by Lourdes (Monica Cervera), a fellow salesclerk

who is so homely Rafael has barely noticed her. She witnessed the

accident, but promises to keep it a secret -- in return for his

undying love and affection.

Subsequent events take a hilariously dark look at sex, marriage

and marketing. As Lourdes turns from meek to monstrous, Rafael goes

from macho to milquetoast -- a hellish prison of his own making.

Director Alex de la Iglesia and his actors have a gift for comic

timing and slapstick. That, plus a soundtrack that will put you in

the mood to mambo, makes this movie perfecto indeed.

* SUSANNE PEREZ lives in Costa Mesa and is an executive assistant

for a financial services company.