The O.C.’s dubious top 10 list

You’ve seen them. I’ve seen them. Everybody’s seen them -- top 10 lists for this and that.

The top 10 most livable cities; the top 10 most stolen cars; the top 10 steakhouses; the top 10 urologists; etc.

Thursday, Orange County got a top 10 list of its own, which is good, except it came from the district attorney’s office, which is not so good.

It was a 10 most wanted list for Orange County posted on the district attorney’s website, www.orangecountyda.com. As if that weren’t enough of an honor, two of the suspects on the list are or were living in Newport Beach.

“If you are a fugitive, you need to know that you can’t hide forever,” District Attorney Tony Rackauckas said in a prepared statement.

I suspect fugitives know that already, but it never hurts to remind them.

Apparently, this is also the first time any county in California has published a 10 most wanted list of its own. Does that seem odd to you? It seems odd to me.

I did a little browsing with my browser and found about a boatload of 10 most wanted lists, from federal agencies, from states, from police departments. Be that as it may, Orange County leads the way once again, and we now have our own list of allegedly terrible people who only a mother could love (and even that’s a little dicey).

If you check out Orange County’s top 10 bad guys, you’ll find that they are in fact all guys, mostly accused murderers and child molesters, and one accused methamphetamine dealer, Samuel Rowland, who is the man believed to be living in Newport Beach even as we speak.

In fact, the D.A.’s website says Rowland “ ... may be residing in Newport Beach/Balboa Peninsula ... “ Does that seem odd to you? It seems odd to me.

The Balboa Peninsula is a pretty small corner of the universe. If a bad guy is living there, could it be that hard to find him? There must be more to that story.

According to district attorney spokesman Mark Macaulay, as unpleasant as these people look and their records sound, they aren’t necessarily the foulest of them all. Prosecutors and investigators have placed their names on the list because they just happen to be the toughest of the tough guys to find.

So how do we stack up against the FBI’s 10 most wanted list -- the one you see in the post office?

Why do they do that by the way? Do criminals mail a lot of stuff? I don’t get it. Why not put the list on gas pumps or at supermarket checkouts, where you have lots of time to just stand there and stare and wonder how much it’s going to be this time? Wouldn’t you rather read about who the bad guys are and what they’ve done while you’re waiting instead of whether Angelina’s kids call Brad “daddy” or about the woman in Idaho who gave birth to her third alien child? I would.

Anyway, the FBI’s list has more variety than ours. It’s mostly suspected murderers, headed by Osama Bin Laden, but there are a few suspected bank robbers and mobsters thrown in.

But whether it’s our list or theirs, whoever said you can’t judge a book by its cover never saw a most wanted list. Most of these people look bad to the bone. There is nothing about them that doesn’t say trouble. I suppose you could be an honest, law-abiding person and look like these guys, but it would be really hard.

The one exception is a fugitive on the FBI list who could easily pass for an investment banker or a neurosurgeon, and a rather pleasant-looking one at that. Even his name sounds upscale: James J. Bulger, formerly of Boston, current address unknown. He’s a friendly looking, thoroughly average white guy who looks fit and much younger than his 76 years.

Here is the FBI’s description of him: “Bulger is an avid reader with an interest in history. He is known to frequent libraries and historic sites ... and maintains his physical fitness by walking on beaches and in parks with his female companion, Catherine Eilzabeth Greig. Bulger and Greig love animals and may frequent animal shelters.”

Now match that description with what he’s charged with: murder, conspiracy to commit extortion, narcotics distribution, and money laundering, all of which are connected to Bulger’s role as the head of an organized crime family in and around Boston.

The FBI list says Bulger “ ... has a violent temper and is known to carry a knife at all times.”

Well OK, then. I take back everything I said about being able to read a book by its cover.

Who started this thing anyway? As you’d expect, the FBI did 55 years ago. In 1950, a wire service reporter for a predecessor to United Press International asked someone at FBI headquarters to name the 10 “toughest guys” on the run. The story became a national sensation -- something that was never lost on FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover.

On March 14, 1950, Hoover announced the FBI’s 10 most wanted fugitives program, and the list has been published and updated ever since.

In the 1950s, the list was mostly bank robbers and car thieves. In the 1960s, it was kidnappers and saboteurs. In the 1970s, crime bosses took over the neighborhood, and in the 1990s, it was major drug dealers, terrorists and serial murderers. And now, we have a list of our own.

So there you have it. Check the list, pay attention, and stay away from people who look like investment bankers and neurosurgeons. You’ll be fine.

I gotta go.

* PETER BUFFA is a former Costa Mesa mayor. His column runs Sundays. He may be reached by e-mail at ptrb4@aol.com.

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