Pungent eau de Back Bay

What is that smell?

It’s a question we’ve all heard before, and usually nothing to stress about, unless the person asking is staring at you or standing in your kitchen at the time.

Sometimes, when people ask that question around here, they’re staring at the Back Bay. There is no nice way of saying this, but now and then the Back Bay, well, stinks. Not all the time, mind you. Just part of the time.

As anyone who walks it, zips past it on Jamboree Road or pedals through it on their Big Wheel knows, when the conditions are just right, the Back Bay can bring tears to your eyes, and we’re not talking about the sunsets.

Is there something in there that no one should see? Did someone do something bad? Not at all. That dairy farm cachet is as natural as shimmering aspens, the morning dew and Velveeta in a can. OK, maybe not the last one.

According to Dave Kiff, assistant city manager and director of UFOs (unidentified funky odors) for Newport Beach, there is nothing man- or woman-made about it.

“It can smell pretty bad and sulfuric, but we have seen no sewage spills,” Kiff told the Daily Pilot.

It all has to do with something called sulfides, which are a natural byproduct of the layer of constantly decomposing organic stuff that lines the bottom of an estuary.

Think of a pile of leaves in your backyard. You probably don’t have one, but think of it anyway. Over time, the leaves start to break down and become a dark, wet mass of squishy stuff that’s trying to return to the earth.

Yuck. Stop thinking about that.

It’s the same thing, more or less, in the Back Bay. When the tide is in and all that mushy organic stuff is tucked away beneath the water, you can breathe just as deep as you please. But when the water recedes and the goop on the bottom is exposed to the air at just the right temperature, wham, it’s sulfides all around.

How bad is it? That depends on the nose and the person to whom it is attached.

At Fletcher Jones Motorcars, the Mercedes emporium just across Jamboree, customers have no problem telling the difference between L’Air du Temps and L’Air du Bay.

“Customers come by and go, ‘What’s that smell?’” Kirk Dawson, Fletcher Jones leasing manager, told a Pilot reporter.

He also said that he doesn’t smell it.

“It’s kind of like being on a farm. You get used to the cows,” Dawson said.

Speaking of cows, how does a bad day on the Back Bay rate with other smelly sites? Child’s play, in my opinion, compared with the dairy farms in Norco and Chino Hills. If you’ve ever driven along Interstate 15 in just the right wind and temperature, it’s a life-changing experience.

Did you know that Norco and Chino Hills have more dairy cows per square mile than any area in the country? It’s true.

In my own neighborhood, Mesa Verde, anyone who frequents Gisler Avenue on their way to or from Harbor Boulevard is familiar with the occasional no-breathe zone near the Harbor Lawn Memorial Park gate. Given the location, I’ve been reluctant to look into to it in greater detail, but I’ve been told that it has something to do with a pipeline to the sanitation plant in Fountain Valley. Hope so.

The strangest mystery scent of all? No contest. It happened in Riverside in 1994.

Gloria Ramirez was rushed to the emergency room at Riverside General Hospital on February 19, 1994. Ramirez, who was ill with cancer, was brought to the Riverside General emergency room at 8:14 p.m. in severe cardiac distress. As nurse Sally Balderas removed Ramirez’s blouse, she noticed a strange, oily film on her skin and a slight smell of ammonia, although others described it as garlic.

When nurse Susan Kane drew a blood sample from the patient, she noticed a strong odor coming from the syringe. Kane handed the syringe to respiratory therapist Maureen Welch, who handed it in turn to Julie Gorchynski, a medical student doing an ER shift. Within seconds, Welch and Gorchynski passed out. Susan Kane collapsed, didn’t pass out, but said she had an intense burning sensation on her face. Gorchynski, still unconscious, was struggling to breathe and had to be rushed to another ER.

The Riverside County hazmat team was called in and sealed off the ER, while the staff, or what was left of it, kept working on Gloria Ramirez, who was pronounced dead at 8:50 p.m.

By the time it was over, 23 of the 37 staffers in the ER fell ill and required treatment. Sally Balderas was hospitalized for 10 days and Julie Gorchynski was in intensive care for two weeks. Perhaps strangest of all, one of the ER doctors, Humberto Ochoa, worked on Ramirez throughout the entire ordeal and said he never felt ill and never smelled anything out of the ordinary.

Not only did Gloria Ramirez’s autopsy reveal nothing unexpected, but after numerous investigations, years of lawsuits and some $800,000 in settlements by the hospital and others, no one has ever determined what the odor was or what caused it.

So there you have it. Sulfides, cemeteries, and a surreal scene from a real-life ER. The next time you catch a whiff of the Back Bay, remember, however strange you think the world is, it’s stranger than that.

I gotta go.

* PETER BUFFA is a former Costa Mesa mayor. His column runs Sundays. He may be reached by e-mail at ptrb4@aol.com.

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