Television addicts are the real fools

On Saturday, I was at a local supermarket with my daughter, Bean. We were getting ready to ride our bikes home with our groceries when I noticed a rack with a few copies of the Daily Pilot.

“Did you read my column today?” I asked her.

“No,” she replied.

I knew that. She rarely reads it, which could mean a couple of things. I’m choosing to believe that if she doesn’t read it, she can disavow any prior knowledge of something I’ve said that may embarrass her.

I threw her my best serious look and said, “You really should read it today.”

Bean put down her share of the groceries and began to read the column in which I acknowledged that I had been lying for 10 years about not watching television.

When she finished it, she could not hide a look of disappointment and anger. Then the look changed to neutral and she said, “I’m proud of you for admitting it.”

Not smiling, still, I said to her, “Bean, what’s the date today?”

At nearly 16, she is quicker than me, and I did not see the hand coming hard to slap my shoulder.

“You rat! You got me!” she cried.

Then she kept hitting me playfully.

“I can’t believe you got me!” she said over and over again.

The column, you see, was an April Fools’ Day joke.

The column fooled two of my brothers, one of whom, Michael, tried to fool me back a couple of days ago.

“Nan and I threw out our TVs,” Michael said.

When I questioned the wisdom of that because TVs are good for watching movies, he said, “Gotcha.”

My brother-in-law, Bud West, was fooled only for a couple of paragraphs. You can’t kid a kidder, and I’m surprised I got him even that far.

The joke gives me an excuse to tell you why, particularly if you have children, you should turn off your television. Here’s some information ? titled “Why Turn Off the TV?” ? straight from the tvturnoff.org website:

“Television cuts into family time, harms our children’s ability to read and succeed in school, and contributes to unhealthy lifestyles and obesity. Here are just a few of the facts:

“On average, children in the US will spend more time in front of the television (1,023 hours) than in school this year (900 hours).

That information is mild compared with the disturbing facts that are on the website. There, you’ll find so many bad effects of TV that you’ll wonder why it isn’t banned for anyone under 18. The week that Satcher mentions is National TV-Turnoff Week. This year it is April 24 through 30.

One of the challenges in promoting TV-Turnoff Week is that you won’t see any news segments about it on television. Despite losing some ground to the Internet, television is still the nation’s dominant medium, and they are not quick to tell people to stop watching the ads that pay their bills.

It’s not the shows that television promotes; it’s the ads. The shows, as one critic has said, “are just to keep you occupied between commercials.”

In short, you are being manipulated.

Contrary to what you may believe, the absence of television has not brought peace and quiet into our home. That’s because television acts as a sedative that makes you just want to sit and do nothing. In fact, it encourages you to sit and do nothing.

So where a TV home may have people sitting staring at a tube, we are more likely to be talking to each other. Now get ready for some information that could make a difference in your life or in the life of someone you know.

Over the years, I have read a tremendous amount of information on the effects of television. But there is one website that offers the best combination of anecdotal and scientific information, presented in plain language. The address is: www.turnoffyourtv.com /healtheducation/addiction /addiction.html.

Please note that I am available to speak at no charge to your organization about the benefits of a TV-free life. I don’t expect any reader to put down this newspaper and throw out the television. All I can ask for really is to try a TV-free home for one week. That’s all, just one week.

If you find that you must have your fix or if you find that your home is worse off than before, turn the TV back on.

But if you find, as a growing number of homes have found, that life without TV can raise grades, raise test scores, improve family communication, help you lose weight, think more, think more clearly, and contribute more to a general sense of well-being, leave it off for good.

If I fooled you last Saturday, thanks for taking a joke and continuing to read.

And if I didn’t fool you, wait until next year.