What I would have told President Bush

Dear President Bush:

Had I known last week that you were going to be in Irvine, so close to Costa Mesa and Newport Beach, I would have directed Saturday’s column to you in the hope that by some miracle you would have seen it.

I would have told you that there doesn’t seem to be anyone in your administration who knows the master plan for our presence in Iraq. And if there is anyone who does know of such a plan, he or she is not telling. Either way, that’s bad.

Is the plan a secret? Could it be that the invasion of Iraq really was an oil grab?

If the invasion really was a plot to get control of Iraqi oil and make money for your oil pals, it worked. Gasoline prices are high and climbing higher, returning obscene profits to the oil companies while American soldiers fight and die daily.

I’m not against companies making a lot of money. I’m against it when those profits come at the expense of our soldiers.

Perhaps that’s the administration’s idea of spreading democracy ? giving up lives to protect profits. I’d love to be proven wrong. So, Mr. President, can we please see the five-year plan?

By the way, I won’t miss a beat if gas hits $5 a gallon. In fact, make it $10 a gallon. It seems to me that the only way we’re ever going to get serious about conservation, alternative fuels, air pollution and gridlock is when it hits us in the pocketbook.

So, bring it on ? now ? before we spend another dime on more freeways that we won’t use because our cars are too expensive to operate.

Mr. President, the mention of pollution brings up another topic I would have raised in that column.

What’s the deal here? Is it really possible that you are so out of touch with mainstream America that you don’t know that the slow destruction of the Earth is a hot topic with us right now?

It’s not just about global warming, Mr. President. In fact, if I had anything to say about it, the term “global warming” would be banned. Global warming is just a symptom, you see, and whether you or anyone else agrees that it is real is irrelevant.

Let’s assume for the moment that there is no such thing as global warming, Mr. President ? let’s cut the argument off at the knees.

Does that make the need to conserve our resources and protect our planet any less important? It should not. We know that there is a finite amount of oil in the ground and that when it runs out, we’ll need another fuel source. Don’t you think, Mr. President, that 2006 would be a good time to get serious about finding that alternative?

I wrote “serious,” Mr. President, because it does not include a silly, lip-service Earth Day photo op near a car with a fuel cell. Serious means that you are encouraging the research and development of alternative fuels by handing out tax breaks to businesses that are legitimately trying to discover their way to the future.

Serious means that conservation is a frequent part of your message and that you are giving out solutions that are meat and potatoes, not chicken soup.

Why not strongly encourage businesses to try the one conservation method that will reduce their overhead, increase productivity and reduce pollution at the same time? Mr. President, that would be telecommuting. That’s where millions of people work from home because, simply put, they are not doing work that requires them to commute to an office.

Fix Medicare, Mr. President. You’re the one who broke it. The new system is not working, and it’s time to go back to the way it used to be until another solution comes along.

Mr. President, why not encourage our nation to start thinking more? I don’t hear you pounding the reading drum, encouraging our children and their parents to read more. While other countries are making scholars, we’re making bombs. We’re falling far behind, Mr. President.

I’m with you on the guest-worker program. We’re so dependent on illegal immigration to maintain our vanishing competitive edge that the only sensible plan is one that will allow people here to clean our toilets, wash our cars and pick what’s left of our crops.

But I have to agree with those who want you to secure our borders. The two ideas are not mutually exclusive.

I’m running out of space, here, Mr. President, but before I go, I want to leave you with my perspective on the big picture.

One of the popular definitions of insanity is doing the same thing over and over hoping for a different result. You’re not a popular guy right now, sir, and it seems to me that if you want to leave a lasting, positive legacy, you need to change something pretty quick, something more than just a few people on your staff.

For starters, why not stick a fuel cell in your limousine?