‘Dreamz,’ schemes and teen queens

Nothing nuanced or satirical about it

Every once in a while a film comes along that reminds you of just how bad a movie can be. The latest reminder of the depths of the movie-going experience comes courtesy of “American Dreamz.”

The plot revolves around an “American Idol” clone, along with its host, one of its contestants, a president who needs to appear on the show to boost his sagging poll numbers, an aspiring terrorist who likes show tunes and a plot to assassinate the president.

But the film can better be summed up by the following exchange between its two main characters, Martin Tweed (Hugh Grant) ? host of the “Idol”-like “American Dreamz” ? and aspiring starlet, Sally Kendoo (Mandy Moore):

“That was a joke.”

“I’m aware.”

“You didn’t laugh.”

“It wasn’t funny.”

That pretty much describes one hour and 47 minutes of my life that I’ll never get back. You can tell the movie is trying to be funny. You’re just not laughing.

In this film, the entire world, from the White House to the terrorist camps, revolves around the show “American Dreamz,” and that world is populated with egomaniacal jerks and cartoon characters.

Tweed takes pride in the fact that he’s not a good person, and he finds his equal in Sally Kendoo, an amoral fame-chaser. Once she finds out she’s going to be on the show, she hires an agent and restructures her life in order to give her “story” more appeal. This includes reuniting with her ex-boyfriend after he’s wounded in Iraq because it might help her win the show.

The only character with any heart is Omer (Sam Golzari), an Iraqi who lost his mother in the war and turned to terrorism to ease his suffering but questions that decision.

Dennis Quaid plays “Mr. P.,” a unsubtle sendup of President Bush. He’s childish and so dumb that his daily briefings include compar- isons between cartoon villains and Iran and North Korea. When the president starts to stray off message, his chief of staff (Willem Dafoe) makes him wear an earpiece so he can tell him every move to make.

If you’re a Bush supporter, you’re not going to enjoy this charac- terization. And if you would enjoy seeing Bush skewered, you’re more likely to notice all the missed opportunities. As political commentary goes, the movie is redundant and stale.

Universal Studios is trying to market “American Dreamz” as a satire on the dumbing down of America, but it seems to have been written by someone who has been dumbed down more than the rest of us and whose worldview has been culled from “MTV News” rather than the New York Times. The attempts at humor are broad and simplistic, but maybe that’s the point. After all, this is socio-political lampoonery aimed at the “American Idol” fan base. I’d guess that demographic doesn’t care much for political satire, and the real “Idol” is a lot funnier than anything in this movie. Anyone who does appreciate political humor is probably too sophisticated for this sophomoric effort.