Speaking of manners

“Manners are the happy ways of doing things.”

? RALPH WALDO EMERSON

At a meeting I attended recently, a woman came in and looked around for a chair. Two young men stood up simultaneously to offer her their seats. She smiled, thanked them, and chose a spot. After the meeting, one of them held the door open for us, and when I saw the young men together, I complimented them. They smiled and one of them said, “Chivalry isn’t dead, Cindy.”

Soon after that, I visited our daughter Kelly, and enjoyed seeing politeness in practice. We’ve all heard the motto, “Manners make the person,” and I’ve had the pleasure of watching manners-in-the-making as Kelly and Ryan raise their daughters.

Mary, our two-year-old granddaughter, knew about the importance of the magic words, “please” and “thank you,” long before she could say them. In fact, she learned how to motion them in sign language many months before she could vocalize the words. She was totally irresistible when she finished eating something she liked, and then tapped her fingers together and rubbed her chest to say, “more” and “please.” She now knows how to say the words, and she also knows that she should answer questions politely, by saying, “Yes, please,” or “No, thank you.”

On a recent visit, Mary said, “Let’s play hide-and-seek, Cici,” and then took off running, so I began counting.

Then I announced, “Ready or not, here I come,” and headed in the direction she’d run.

I rounded the corner toward her room, and there she was, standing in her doorway with a big smile. She shrieked when I saw her. I laughed, picked her up and hugged her.

Then I hid, and after she found me, she went to hide again. I counted and waited a bit longer, thinking she hadn’t had time to really hide before, but when I rounded the corner, there she was in the doorway again. She shrieked even louder. We played one more round, and after the third time when I found her in the same place, I hugged her and said, “Mary, you really need to try a new hiding place.”

Then with furled brows and determination in her voice, she said, “No, thank you, Cici.”

Later, Mary scribbled something, took the little piece of paper to her sister, and put it on her foot. When asked what she was doing, Mary said, “Mary write Aubrey thank-you note.” Mary wrote almost 20 little thank-you notes that morning, explaining that some were for Aubrey, and some were for others.

I can also tell that Kelly and Ryan have worked on introductions with Mary. Several times she shook her little sister’s hand repeatedly, saying, “Nice to meet-cha, nice to meet-cha.” When I ask Mary, “How are you today?” she smiles and responds, “Good, how you, Cici?”

Then she looked down at her shirt, turned to her mom and said, “Thank you, Mommy, for cleaning paint off Mary’s ‘Happy St. Patrick’s Day’ shirt.” I like seeing manners-in-the-making, and yes, manners are indeed the happy ways of doing things.

And you can quote me on that.