The christening as Gus that wasn’t quite

For some reason, nostalgia has taken over, and I am remembering the birth of my older daughter.

Her mother, Katie, was going through the ordeal of giving birth at St. Joseph’s Hospital. Not to be outdone, I was going through the ordeal of giving birth in Gus Tampolis’ bar in Balboa.

I and my boon drinking companions were celebrating this auspicious occasion with some serious drinking during which we engaged in a long and thoughtful discussion as to the name for the newborn child.

After many names had been put forth and rejected, we finally decided that if it was a boy, I should name him Gus, after the name of the bar in which the father had undergone the ordeal of childbirth.

But what if it was a girl? That presented a knotty problem.

The mother’s name was Katie, which was a nice name, but one Katie in the family was enough. Again numerous names were offered and rejected. Then someone said, if Gus was a good enough name for a boy, why wasn’t it a good name for a girl? We all agreed that this was a splendid idea.

Then I received the long-awaited call. Yes, a child had been born, a girl.

I rushed to the hospital, staggered to my wife’s bedside and announced that I had decided on the name of our child.

“We’ll call her Gus Gus Tampopolis,” I slurred.

Katie stared at me.

“I mean Gus Tampolis,” I corrected.

“Her name is Nancy,” her mother said, and that was the end of that.

Or almost.

My daughter Nancy has always felt frustrated by this outcome. She advised us on numerous occasions that she would much rather have been known as Gus than plain old Nancy. There were always a couple of other Nancys around, but never a Gus.

She was so fond of the notion that my wife lived in great fear that her first grandchild would be named Gus. Her fear was not alleviated when Nancy named one of her dogs Gus. Katie could see some poor child being named not only after a bar but also after a dog.

She was very relieved when the grandchild arrived and was named Samantha Lee instead of Gus Tampolis.