THE BELL CURVE:It’s good to be distracted sometimes

Did anyone else notice that nearly the entire front page of Sunday’s Pilot was devoted to the last rites of Rupert, the black swan who got done in by a Harbor Patrol boat?

According to our reporter, dozens of locals in kayaks, boats and gondolas watched while Rupert ‘s ashes were sprinkled in the ocean and he was canonized in services seldom bestowed on humans.

All of this reminded me of an essay I wrote for a national magazine some years ago called “The Ultimate Therapy.” My thesis was that the best way to keep from going batty in a world apparently dedicated to battiness is to care deeply about some terribly unimportant thing. I took baseball as my jumping off place, but soap operas or bowling or coin collecting or any number of relatively mindless obsessions that might come to your mind will do.

Here’s how it works. We can fill every waking hour and cram our nightmares with worry about nuclear bombs building in Iran or global warming or the price of gasoline or illegal immigrants or the collapse of the American family or dozens of other profound concerns. Since this route leads straight to deep depression, the antidote I’ve discovered is to invest time, energy and thought into some totally useless avocation to provide therapeutic balance in your life.

It works quite well if you attach a kind of pseudo importance to these activities and really care what happens.

So, presto, we have Rupert the swan dominating our front page. The contrast between Rupert and the only other story on that page — a plea for the return of a lost dog who offered essential therapy in her owner’s fight against cancer — was dramatic. Happily, the dog has since been found and returned, and a real life crisis averted.

Meanwhile, Rupert the swan was offering a diversion — in death as well as life — from the profound concerns we live with daily.

Two weeks ago, 120 local residents passed up a college football Saturday to attend a seminar at St. Mark Presbyterian Church sponsored by a new group called Progressive Christians United, which is trying to offer a spiritual home to the people whose beliefs fall into the gap between the Christian fundamentalists and the Unitarians.

Founded by two well-known progressive theologians, with a membership of individuals and not churches, Progressive Christians United is a Los Angeles-based nonprofit that has recently taken root in Orange County. Its faithful followers of Christ believe that American Christianity is becoming narrow and judgmental as it focuses too much attention on such wedge issues as reproductive choice and homosexuality rather than Jesus’ ministry of love and inclusion.

Addressing the Newport Beach seminar, Susan Thistlethwaite, president of the Chicago Theological Seminary, called the progressive Christians “the grace people” who seek to “transform society by equipping individuals, congregations and groups to live out the radically inclusive gospel of Jesus Christ.” She reminded her audience that they should never become reactive by mirroring the objectionable policies and procedures of others but instead go to their strengths by advocating for social justice and affirming the belief that people of conscience can disagree.

Explains Pam Allison, coordinator of the Orange County Progressive Christians United chapter: “We don’t support political candidates and are not a political organization. We try to communicate only what we are for: equal rights for all people, and economic and environmental justice. We stress the positive. We believe that we are all made in the image of God. Like Jesus, we are inclusive, open to all humans.”

Adds supporter the Rev. Dr. Dennis Short, pastor of the Harbor Christian Church and co-founder of the Interfaith Peace Ministry: “It is good to know that a group to network progressive Christians has been formed in this county to present our views in an organized way. It’s getting a good reception.”

If you want more information, you can check out their website at www.progressivechristians uniting.org or call Pam Allison at (949) 636-2873.

The withdrawal of Barbara Venezia from the Newport Beach City Council race effectively removes the vote from those of us who live in what used to be Santa Ana Heights. It brings to mind Harry Truman’s remark that “if you can’t stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen.”

The easy reaction is to say that Venezia knew there would be heat and should have been prepared for it.

But those of us who have never risked our peace of mind or reputations in the grinder of politics can’t really comprehend the elastic ethical parameters of those seeking political power — even at the local level — that allows them to rationalize the end justifying the means. So if we’re looking for a person to blame for being disenfranchised locally, we find it hard to choose between a candidate who wasn’t prepared for the heat or an election team short on scruples.

And if political consultant Dave Ellis — with his track record in Orange County — is truly involved in the Leslie Daigle team as the Pilot story on Wednesday suggests, then my money is on him.