THE MORAL OF THE STORY:Be realistic this season

“A great obstacle to happiness is to expect too much happiness.” — Bernard de Fontenelle

“There is no way your Christmas can possibly ever live up to your expectations. This isn’t Disneyland, you know,” the man said to his wife in line behind me. “Don’t say that,” she snapped back to him. “A lot of my friends already have all their presents bought and wrapped, and that’s what I want. Is that really asking too much?”

I didn’t hear any more, but it was interesting that the woman felt so far behind in her Christmas shopping because the conversation took place the week before Thanksgiving.

I relayed this little snippet to a friend of mine, and we talked about expectations in general and specifically about expectations regarding the holidays. We agreed that having realistic expectations is good; they can motivate and encourage us to work hard toward a goal. Positive expectations can act like self-fulfilling prophecies. Henry Ford captured the power of expectations when he said, “If you think you can, you can. And if you think you can’t, you’re right.”

But expectations can sometimes work against you, and if they are continually unrealistic and unattainable, the repeated disappointment may lead to depression.

The holidays are a time famous for unrealistic expectations. Maybe if the unhappy woman accomplished those things early, she would have had other far-reaching goals. Some of you reading this may have finished all your shopping before Thanksgiving because that’s the way you operate or you need to in order to mail presents to faraway destinations, and that’s great. I’m referring to those of us who have some Disneyland-like expectations for Christmas that simply cannot happen, and we always long for more.

I heard a great line that I have adopted any time I need to refocus my expectations to be more realistic. It is this: “All I can do is all I can do, and that’s all I can do.” Sometimes I change the wording to: “The best I can do is … “ Those few words have been freeing for me, and perhaps they will help you be more content with simply doing what you can and realizing that it is enough.

One friend said that last year she was so busy with all the trimmings and trappings of Christmas, that she forgot to focus on Jesus, whose birthday we celebrate. This year, instead of unrealistic expectations that focus on things, why not focus instead on developing or deepening your relationship with God? A relationship with God is a realistic expectation, and it is a wonderful and lasting gift that keeps on giving.

And you can quote me on that.