THE COASTAL GARDENER:Every rose pruner has his quirks

Once again it is rose pruning time. There may be more written about rose pruning than any other topic in the garden.

For business purposes, I and several others here at Roger’s Gardens just finished completing a personality test. We learned the differences in how we communicate, tackle our work, organize our day and much more. I find it entertaining that, as gardeners, we can stand in front of a row of roses ready for pruning, yet approach the task in many different ways. With tongue in cheek (sort of), let’s see how you like to prune roses. Take the Pruning Personality Test.

1. Rose pruning reminds me most of:

A. Giving a haircut to my best friend.

B. Mowing grass.

C. Performing brain surgery.

D. The unfortunate euthanizing of homeless pets.

2. I prefer to dress for my rose pruning chore with:

A. Thick leather gloves and sturdy work boots.

B. Flip-flops, Levi’s and a T-shirt.

C. Surgical gloves, a freshly pressed pinstripe shirt and tailored slacks.

D. Safety glasses, thorn-proof gloves, a first-aid kit and wide-brimmed hat.

3. My preferred tools for rose pruning are:

A. Freshly sharpened pruning shears and loppers.

B. Hedge shears, preferably gas-powered.

C. A scalpel, a micrometer, a surveyor’s transit and a laptop.

D. Several rose books, a Valium and a spouse whom I can instruct — from a safe distance.

If you chose A for at least two of these questions, you’re what Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung described as an Introverted Intuitor, or in gardening terms, a Conventional Rose Pruner. You’re generally sensible, cooperative and optimistic. You approach the task rather straightforwardly, follow a few basic principles, but don’t fret the small stuff too much. You’re slow, however, to try new ideas and will pretty much continue to prune your roses as you always have, regardless of new information. (Even though the rose hasn’t had more than six flowers in the last five years and is continually laden with so much mildew it appears to be snowing in the garden, you’re carrying on as usual.)

If you checked B twice or more, you display elements of the Laissez Faire Rose Pruner, Jung’s Extraverted Feeler. You don’t sweat the small stuff. In fact, you don’t like to sweat at all. You’re unencumbered by facts and data. Intricate techniques, pruning seminars and the like are for the people with too much free time. Rather than spend the afternoon examining where to make each cut, you’ll be done and on to something more important — like snickering at the neighbor’s rose-pruning dilemma.

If you answered more than one question with C, you are a typical Perfectionist Rose Pruner, Jung’s Introverted Thinker. Possibly an engineer by trade, you prefer to proceed slowly and think through the process in detail before making any rash decisions. A couple of more measurements, a quick check with the boys at MIT and you’ll feel a lot better about things. “Not too fast; let’s think this thing through” is your credo. It might be June before you’re finished, but they’ll be worthy of a spot at the Smithsonian when you’re done.

If you’re heavily skewed toward D answers, it’s a safe bet that you’re a Nervous Nellie Rose Pruner, what in Jungian Theory would be an Extraverted Sensor. You’re a bit insecure and unsure of whether you’re up to the task. If you don’t prune correctly, your roses will almost certainly die. Do you have the proper tools? You’ve only got two bottles of sunscreen in the cabinet; better get some more. What about bees? You saw one a couple of weeks ago. You recall a story in the National Enquirer about a lady in Connecticut who was hideously disfigured last year after an altercation with a large hybrid tea. Just to be on the safe side, better get your tetanus booster updated; it’s been almost six months.

Of course, there are four more rose-pruning personalities, the Drama Queen Pruner, the Command and Control Pruner, the Two-Face Pruner and the Can’t-We-All-Just-Get-Along Pruner, but these conflicted pruning personalities generally require more in-depth psychoanalysis.

The point of my making fun of these different approaches to rose pruning is simply to point out that no matter how you approach your rose-pruning chore, you are almost guaranteed to have beautiful roses. Roses are incredibly resilient — and resistant to our psychotic quirks.

In case you are wondering, according to Jung I am an Introverted Intuitive Thinker Judger, and when it comes to roses, I tend to be a perfectionist.

(My apologies to Dr. Jung, and much gratitude and credit to Dr. Leda.)

ASK RON

Last week you mentioned several garden tours in Orange County. How do I find out more about these?

DAVID

Newport Beach

I’m glad you’re interested. These garden tours don’t get underway until April, and for many of them the details aren’t all in place quite yet. Keep reading this column — when we get a bit closer, I’ll give you some dates and contact information.