ALL ABOUT FOOD:Bedtime? Take one banana

When you’re lying awake with a dismal headache

And repose is tabooed by anxiety

I conceive you may use any language you choose

To indulge in without impropriety...

— Gilbert and Sullivan

Is your mother-in-law coming for an indefinite stay? Did your son who just graduated from MIT come home to move back into his old room?

Did it cost you $75 to fill up your gas tank yesterday? Bothered by the time change, the fluctuations in the stock market and the weather?

Are you tossing and turning and running out of sheep? Or have you always had trouble in the sack... sleeping, we mean?

That would make you one of the more than 68% of Americans who don’t get the re- commended eight hours of sleep a night. And to keep you from sleeping tonight, did you know that 70% of those who sleep less than six hours a night have a higher mortality rate than those who get 7-8 hours.

Also, people who are sleep-deprived have lower levels of the appetite-regulating hormone leptin, which makes them hungrier, want to eat more and be at risk for weight gain.

So for all of you tired, fat and destined to die younger souls, here is the good news. Food can help you snooze, assuming you eat the right foods at the right time and avoid those foods that keep you awake.

“Sleepers” are foods that contain tryptophan, the amino acid that the body uses to make seratonin and melatonin.

Seratonin slows down nerve traffic so that your brain isn’t so busy and high melatonin levels tell your body it’s time to sleep.

Eating carbohydrates together with tryptophan-containing foods makes this calming amino acid more available to the brain. A high-carbohydrate meal stimulates the release of insulin, which helps counteract those amino acids which compete with tryptophan.

That’s why everybody falls asleep at four o’clock, after Thanksgiving dinner.

Turkey is loaded with tryptophan and just about everything else you eat at that meal is a carbohydrate. Just don’t eat turkey by itself at bedtime because protein-rich foods also perk up the brain without accompanying carbs.

On the other hand, an all-carbohydrate bedtime snack, especially one high in junk sugars, sets off a roller coaster effect of plummeting blood sugar followed by stress hormones that will keep you awake.

The best thing to eat about an hour before bed is a small (200 calorie) snack that is mostly complex carbohydrates, a touch of protein and perhaps some calcium. Calcium helps the brain to use the tryptophan to manufacture melatonin. You see, mother did know best.

Didn’t she always suggest a glass of warm milk to help you settle down? Calcium-fortified soymilk will do the trick too, but your mother probably never mentioned that.

Josh Reynolds, our local Laguna expert on brain health and fitness and the author of “20-20 Brain Power,” suggests a small amount of cottage cheese or yogurt with banana or the more indulgent tablespoon of peanut butter on a banana.

Bananas are practically a sleeping pill in a peel. They contain calcium, carbohydrates, a small amount of protein and magnesium, which is a muscle relaxant.

Bananas are also digested slowly, so they release their sleep-inducing properties later into the night much like Ambien CR.

Other sleep inducing foods include chamomile tea, which has a mild sedating effect, and honey (just a little). Lots of sugar is stimulating but a little glucose tells your brain to turn off orexin, a recently discovered neurotransmitter that is linked to alertness.

A small amount of baked potato, especially if it is mashed with warm milk, can clear away acids that interfere with yawn inducing tryptophan.

Oatmeal is a good source of melatonin. Reynolds said that the old-fashioned slow-cooking kind is preferable to the instant.

Nuts and seeds, especially almonds and sunflower seeds, both have tryptophan and magnesium.

Reynolds also agrees with the conventional wisdom that eating earlier rather than later is more conducive to a good night’s sleep. “Don’t dine after nine.”

Lighter meals in the evening are also more likely to give you a restful night.

High fat meals and large servings keep your digestive system working longer, while gas and rumblings may keep you awake. Some people find that spicy foods cause problems as well.

Also, eating too close to bedtime increases your metabolic rate and body temperature when they should be decreasing, thus making it more difficult to drop off.

In addition, it takes about 90 minutes for the body to process liquids so it makes sense to stop drinking one and a half hours before you hit the sack so you can avoid those middle of the night excursions.

Alcohol, in particular, which may relax you at first and make you feel drowsy, will actually cause sleep to be fragmented once it wears off.

Caffeine is the villain of this piece. Why? Within 15 minutes of downing a cup of coffee, the level of adrenalin in your blood increases, triggering a rise in heart rate, breathing rate, urinary output and stomach acid.

It also causes adrenal hormones to release sugar stored in the liver, stimulating sugar cravings to replace what has been lost.

Some people are more caffeine-sensitive than others. Its effect peaks in about an hour but does not wear off completely for six hours. Beware of “energy” drinks that may contain herbal caffeine, which is equally stimulating.

Factoid: chocolate, contrary to popular belief, is not high in caffeine, has calcium, magnesium, a little protein and a lot of carbohydrates — thus providing a bit of the magical sleep combination.

Of course, there is still the problem of the sugar, so if you can stop at one-half ounce of extra dark chocolate...go for it! (Note: Reynolds did not endorse this last statement.)

Ambien or oatmeal, Lunesta or banana... the choice is yours.