ON THE TOWN:Live better -- turn off the tube

This is a notice for parents, particularly the parents of children under the age of 6.

This is a notice for people who wonder why they do not have enough time during the week to get things done, whether it’s starting that small business, fixing that faucet or resuming that hobby.

This is a notice for anyone who wants to improve a relationship at home, whether it is between a husband and wife, parent and child or between siblings.

This is a notice for parents who want their kids to read more.

This is a notice for people who wonder why kids are growing up so quickly.

This is a notice for anyone who wants to lose weight without exercising or dieting.

If any of those situations or goals applies to you, there is an opportunity to take a giant step forward, and it won’t cost you a dime. In fact, you’ll be saving a few cents.

It’s not too good to be true, but as with all grand promises, there is a catch. And for many of you, the catch may be too much to handle.

What you have to do, you see, is turn off your TV for a week starting on Monday.

The promises I have just made to you are real. People who turn off their televisions report improved relationships, increased accomplishments and less anxiety over media content.

People who watch TV gain weight while they are doing so, in part because they eat bad food while watching the tube and in part because they are not burning calories while they watch it.

And the single most common activity that kids do when they stop watching television is read.

Many of you can’t handle a week without TV. Many of you will get defensive and make comments such as “I can turn it off any time I want.” Others will say, “I only watch a little,” or “It relaxes me.”

Now, I want you to substitute TV for cigarettes or heroin and read those comments again. Those are the things addicts say to justify their habit.

Others are going to try to get out of the challenge by directing their weakness at me — by calling me names or by telling me to mind my own business.

But I have an advantage over anyone who is too weak to turn off their TV for a week. You see, before 1994, I was a television addict. I was one of those people who walked into a room and immediately turned on the television. Often, I’d turn on the TV and walk away.

I was one of those who’d fall asleep to the television, then wake up in the middle of the night with the silly thing still on and stay up to watch a news show or infomercial.

Perhaps I should have added that turning off the TV may give you a better night’s sleep too.

So the advantage I have is that I have lived life with TV and without it. Critics have only lived life with it. And I will tell you that there is no comparison: My life and the lives of my wife and children are better without television.

Several weeks ago, I offered a challenge with a reward to local teachers. Only two responded.

So rather than have them compete, I am going to split the reward between the two of them.

These two teachers are about to receive classroom benefits they never knew existed.

I’d like to see our school board make next week’s “TV Turnoff Week” an annual event. I’d really like to see them adopt a full-blown no-TV program, as it will raise grades and test scores and will cost pennies to implement.

But I have about as much chance of that logic getting through as I do getting just you to turn off the tube next week.

Go ahead — prove me wrong.