COMMENTS & CURIOSITIES:World’s most prolific moms

It’s all about mothers, and not just today. Is there anyone more important than mothers? There is not. Fathers — not so much. When is the last time you saw someone on their death bed in a movie take one last breath, reach out to no one in particular and say, “Dad, is that you?” Never, that’s when.

The line is “Mom, is that you?” always, every time, no exceptions.

If your mom is still here, count your lucky stars, call more often and be as nice as you can possibly be, especially today, the mother of all days.

And talk about a mom with something to celebrate: Brenda Wright of Costa Mesa gave birth to quadruplets last week, four very healthy and totally cute babies named Cassandra, Alexis, Lucas and Kenkaid.

Brenda’s four-way combination got me to thinking. Who were the most prolific mothers in the entire history of mothers, which goes back, I don’t know, hundreds of years maybe.

Brenda Wright did an excellent job, but I’m afraid she will not be going home with the blue ribbon.

According to Guinness — the book, not the beer — two women share the record for driving the multiple birth rate to new heights: Bobbie McCaughey from Iowa, which is next to Nebraska, and Hasna Humair from Saudi Arabia, which is not. Each woman delivered septuplets, and yes that means seven brand new little people at one time. McCaughey entered the record books in November 1997 and Humair in January 1998. As you might suspect, both women were on fertility drugs, which apparently worked, a lot. There have been other cases of women delivering seven, eight and even nine babies at one time, but with much lower survival rates.

When you get into the really big numbers, there are lots of women who had 15 or 20 children or more.

But the record holders are in a league of their own, like the Russian peasant known only as “the wife of Feodor Vassilyev” who lived in a remote village called Shuya in the 1700s. Between 1725 and 1765, the amazing Mrs. Vassilyev gave birth to 16 pairs of twins, seven sets of triplets and four sets of quadruplets, which in case you lost count, is 69 children.

We all need some romance and passion in our lives, but holy czarina, Feodor, give it a rest, would you?

The modern record belongs to Leontina Albina from Chile who claims to be the mother of 64 children, of which only 55 have been documented. Oh OK, only 55 — hardly worth noting.

The award for the shortest time between two deliveries by one woman — 208 days — goes to New Zealand’s Jayne Bleackley, who gave birth to a son on September 3, 1999, and a daughter on March 30, 2000, just under 7 months later. The longest time between births is 41 years, 185 days. Elizabeth Ann Buttle of Wales gave birth to a daughter in 1956 at the age of 19 then a son in 1997 at the age of 60. Now that’s what I call an older brother, or a younger one, your choice.

Speaking of young, the youngest mother on record is Lina Medina from Lima, Peru, and I didn’t make that up. Wait, that is too good not to repeat — Lina Medina from Lima, Peru. In 1939, Lina gave birth to a baby boy at the age of 5 years and 7 months, and I am not making that up either. The boy, who was raised as Lina’s brother, was told the truth when he was 10, at which point his mother, Lina Medina from Lima, Peru, (sorry, couldn’t help it) was not yet sixteen. I guess things happen faster in the Southern Hemisphere.

Finally, some of the most famous multiple birth siblings don’t even exist. There are Donald Duck’s triplet nephews, Huey, Dewey and Louie, and Daisy Duck’s nieces, April, May and June.

My all-time, all-cosmos personal favorite and by far the most politically incorrect is the Indian mini-mart owner from “The Simpsons,” Apu Nahasapeemapetilon. Apu is ecstatic when his wife, Manjula Nahasapeemapetilon, gives birth to octuplets, whom they name Anoop, Uma, Nabendu, Poonam, Pria, Sandeep, Sashi, and Gheet. But when his wife insists the children be given American names, Apu, who doesn’t know a lot of American names, renames them Freedom, Lincoln, Condoleezza, Manifest Destiny, Apple Pie, Coke, Pepsi and Superman. Much better, definitely.

So that’s it then. Everything you need to know about triplets, septuplets, having 69 kids, and of course, Lina Medina from Lima, Peru. Have the best Mother’s Day ever, unless you’re a father, in which case, we’ll get to you later.

I gotta go.