REPORTER’S NOTEBOOK:Deciphering the city’s ambiguous dress codes

“Laguna Casual.”

Is there a more confusing phrase to be found in this town’s lexicon?

Every event I’ve attended since stumbling into this inimitable enclave has had me perplexed.

It hasn’t been due to the famed interrelationships that everyone here seems to have. (“Oh, you need to know this before you talk to them — she’s married to the owner of that business where the former mayor’s son works with the other Brooke-with-an-E. Whatever you do, don’t mention Brooke-with-an-E.”)

I have Barbara Diamond for that.

It’s the darn dress codes that have me all in a dither.

Take the Collector’s Choice benefit at Laguna College of Art & Design earlier this year. The invitation clearly stated “Laguna Casual,” which due to past experience I’ve chalked up to meaning “Sass and Bide jeans with a not-too-sparkly silk halter top, Christian Louboutin stilettos and this month’s It Bag.”

But did I see a single pair of 2%-polyurethane jeans when I arrived? No. It was wall-to-wall black suits and long gowns.

So I suppose my typical approach of overdressing a bit came in handy, as I wore a lace cocktail dress rather than denim.

Then it was on to the festival VIP parties. First up was Art-A-Fair, which had no dress code stated that I could find.

Deciding again to err on the side of caution, I wore a floral sundress, only to find that I was once again upstaged by tuxedos and delicate silk wraps.

And the formal atmosphere didn’t end with the dry-clean-only fabrics. My plate was covered in a slab of beef, and the champagne flowed like, well, champagne.

From there it was on to the Sawdust Art Festival’s Tuesday night extravaganza, where dress codes are either verboten or unheard-of.

I knew I would be overdressed due to my plans for later that evening; all my black polished cotton dress had in common with the tie-dyed and showy garments around it was the “Fabric of our Lives” factor.

But it was the Festival of Arts preview night that really messed with my head.

I was certain I would be prepared: the invitation clearly stated “black tie optional,” so I went with a lavender chiffon cocktail gown that I thought would be totally appropriate. Hubby wore a black suit with a sky-blue silk tie.

While walking to the grounds, I was reassured to see School Board President Betsy Jenkins resplendent in a richly hued, classy ensemble. And many of the artists were dressed as recommended by the invitation

But then came the onslaught of Seven for All Mankind denim-clad posteriors and the discordant sound of hundreds of pairs of flip-flops, interspersed with the occasional suit coat sighting. So tell me, denizens of this fair city — shall we rename the dress codes?

I hereby submit the following three categories:

1. Laguna Casual (inspired by the Sawdust Art Festival)

2. Laguna Not-So-Casual (inspired by the Festival of Arts)

3. Laguna So-Not-Casual (inspired by the Art-A-Fair)

Thank you for your consideration.