KIDS THESE DAYS:Fill hands with food and prizes

In Newport Beach, residents fought hard to preserve the park-only concept on a piece of land that some saw as a good location for a new city hall. Still waiting to be determined is whether three kids playing catch there can be cited if they are caught.

That’s the rule in Costa Mesa’s Paularino Park. Even if the park is empty, kids cannot play catch there.

Go to any of Newport’s beaches and you’re likely to see one of those signs with a big “No” on it, as well as a long list of activities in which you are not allowed to take part. It probably would have been easier if they listed what you can do, not what you can’t do.

These signs are not just at Newport’s beaches, they are at parks and playgrounds everywhere.

The “No” signs do not exist at the Orange County Fair, where there is so much fun, it has to be limited to about three weeks a year.

Where else can you go where you can pay someone to let you throw a ball at a wall of dishes? And you can win a prize, too.

If you like, at the fair you can also shoot pool and drink beer, if that’s your thing.

But speaking of “no,” that’s the usual response when we want to eat junk food, but even that’s encouraged at the fair as you eat a year’s worth of sugar, fat and calories in one day.

Just to be clear, I am guilty of consuming as much of the “fair food” I can get my hands on. Last week, in one six-hour visit, I had a gyro sandwich, part of a roast beef sandwich, a cinnamon roll with frosting, licorice, coffee, one beer, one glass of champagne, an ear of corn and a dish with sliced apples, caramel and ice cream.

Along the way, I kept telling myself it was all OK to consume because I was working it off walking around the fair.

Denial is one of the human mind’s best features.

Our two kids, Kaitlyn and Roy, plus Roy’s friend, Tashi, spent a lot of time on their own so I don’t know what food they ate. I’m afraid to ask.

Kaitlyn, Roy and Tashi went on rides. We watched. Kaitlyn went on something called the “Remix II,” what I call a “barf ride,” while my wife and I sat on a bench. In just a couple of minutes, she stumbled off with a huge grin.

A couple of minutes later, we passed the “Zipper,” my all-time favorite barf ride. On the Zipper, riders are locked in a cage in pairs and are spun around, end over end.

As if that weren’t enough, all of the little cages circulate around a large oval as they tumble.

I get queasy just looking at it. “I went on that,” Kaitlyn said proudly.

Just past the Zipper was my favorite midway game, the one where contestants have to toss a ping-pong ball in any number of red or white bowls that are floating around a little pool.

It’s my speed and I’ve never been shut out from a prize. So, 10 minutes later, I walked off with my 8-inch-tall Spider-Man for only $5. That was the cheapest one I’ve ever bought.

Toward the end of the evening, the three kids took my ride card and went back to the midway.

Kaitlyn went on Remix II again, this time with Tashi, while Roy watched. Here, the acorn did not fall far from the tree.

When they were done, I asked for my ride card back. “We used it at the midway,” Roy said.

That night, before I gave away my $40 ride card to the three teenagers, you could have hung a “No” sign on me, one that read, “No brains.”

The fair finishes up Sunday. Go, with or without kids, and have the time of your life.