SUNDAY STORY:Families cope together

Milalona Bordelon drove all the way from Arizona to the halls of Vanguard University last week. When she arrived with her two children, everyone else there was a stranger. It took a few hours before it felt like home.

Bordelon, who lost her husband in Iraq two years ago, took the long journey to Orange County Thursday because she had heard about a rare event taking place over the weekend. Operation One Family, a group formed by a number of local Rotary Clubs, had scheduled a four-day program for the spouses and children of military personnel who had lost their lives overseas. At home, without a support group close by, Bordelon often felt stranded.

“Now I see my kids very happy,” she said Saturday morning in the middle of a series of workshops. “They met other kids their age in the same situation, and they’re learning.”

Last December, a group of Orange County Rotary Clubs helped to organize Snowball Express, an event in which a number of bereaved military families went to Disneyland, Crystal Cathedral and other locations around the county. The clubs plan a second trip this December, but the organizers wanted to create another program that was geared to emotional needs more than entertainment.

Their solution was Operation One Family, in which participants stayed at Vanguard, underwent counseling at Camp Pendleton, visited the Orange County Fair and got a chance to share their experiences with others who had undergone tough times. The clubs plan to continue the event on an annual basis.

“We wanted to do something that would have more lasting value,” said Larry Thomas, president of the Costa Mesa Rotary Club and co-chairman of Operation One Family. “The wives and children of the fallen are probably the most vulnerable of all the relatives.”

The program began Thursday afternoon with a barbecue at the Newport Dunes Resort, following by a day of seminars at the Marine base. On Saturday, the location shifted back to Vanguard for a series of workshops on journal-writing, dealing with family issues and even applying for jobs, as many of the women present had been forced to do after being widowed.

Susan Bertolino of Murietta said the workshop was a breath of fresh air because it was difficult to share some of her memories with people not in the same situation. Her husband, Stephen, had died in an ambush in November 2003, and she had done her best since to raise their four children. She could still vividly remember the last time she spoke with him on the phone from Iraq, two days before his death.

“He told me, ‘Make sure to let the kids know how blessed they are to live in this country,’” she said. “‘They have so much more than the people over here.’”

OPERATION ONE FAMILY EVENTS OVER PAST FOUR DAYS

THURSDAY, AUG. 2

Afternoon: Arrival at Vanguard University

5:30 p.m.: Barbecue at Newport Dunes Resort

FRIDAY, AUG. 3

8 a.m.: Workshops and counseling at Camp Pendleton hosted by Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors

7 p.m. Free country-western concert at Del Mar Beach

SATURDAY, AUG. 4

9:30 a.m.: “Share Faire” at Vanguard University featuring a number of nonprofit organizations

Morning and afternoon: Workshops at Vanguard

6:30 p.m.: Orange County Fair visit

SUNDAY, AUG. 5

9 a.m.: Nondenominational service at Vanguard

10 a.m.: Knott’s Berry Farm visit