SOUL FOOD:More suicide-prevention resources needed
In the last couple of weeks people dear to me have been rocked by suicide. A beloved friend of one family member took a lethal dose of sleeping pills that ended her life. A college-age member of my family found a new resident in their shared dorm unconscious and called 9-1-1.
The student had taken a deadly dose of over-the-counter painkillers but, thanks to timely medical intervention, will live. And I hope will receive expert counseling.
Around the same time I got this news, I ran into Sue Smith at a local Corner Bakery Café. I first met Sue when she served as secretary for the Greater Huntington Beach Interfaith Council.
Four years ago, nearly to the day, I wrote about the suicide of her husband Lou Smith, a beloved Huntington Beach obstetrician — a man Sue described as “the kindest, most gentle soul I ever knew.”
He lived, she said, “to bring life into this world.” That he could take his own life stunned her and all who knew him.
Sue’s daughter, Lou’s stepdaughter, Lisa Grant, said he “was the last person on the planet you would expect to do this.” His death, she said, made it feel as though “her skin had been turned inside out.”
For Sue and Lisa and Lou’s daughter Jackie Smith, it was a matter of having to believe the unbelievable. As they tried to cope, the scarcity of local resources for suicide prevention and suicide survivors stunned them, too.
Perhaps because of the stigma many religions long conferred on suicide (and many still do), churches and synagogues and mosques tend to offer little for suicide prevention or intervention, much less for survivors. Secular resources continue to improve and to reach out to schools and religious organizations.
In 2004, the Suicide Prevention Advocacy Network (SPAN) convened in Sacramento and drafted the California Strategy for Suicide Prevention. Its resource website, which contains educational brochures, newsletters and associated links, is at www.span-california.org.
This year, Sept. 9 to 15, the American Association of Suicidology is sponsoring National Suicide Prevention Week with the theme, “40 Years of Suicide Prevention: Moving Forward with Education and Training.” Its central message is through awareness and action, suicide can be preventable. For now, according to the AAS, suicide ranks 11th among the top 15 causes of death in the U.S. It claims twice as many deaths as Parkinson’s disease or homicide.
In 2004, the most recent year for which there is national data, 32,439 people died by suicide, 3,368 in California. As a point of reference, the Department of Defense has confirmed 3,754 deaths in Iraq since the war began in March 2003.
Suicides among youths, ages 15 to 24, increased more than 200% during the decades between 1950 and 1980 before leveling off. Suicide deaths are now highest among those over the age of 65.
Men kill themselves four times as often as women do, but women attempt to kill themselves three times as often. And non-fatal suicides, whether among men or women, often result in serious and permanent injuries.
Every 16 minutes, someone in the U.S. dies by suicide. Survivors number about 5 million.
Yet experts say most suicidal individuals do not want to die. They simply want to resolve their problems and end their pain but death is the only solution they can see.
Suicidal crises, though, tend to be brief. So the detection of suicidal behaviors and intervention can save a life.
Fact sheets on the AAS website ( www.suicidology.org) provide warning signs and a mnemonic phrase, “IS PATH WARM?” to help remember them. The 10 signs include: ideation (talking or writing about death, dying or suicide and/or threatening or devising a means for suicide); substance abuse; purposelessness; anxiety; a sense of being trapped; feelings of hopelessness; withdrawal from family, friends and activities; uncontrolled anger; recklessness; and mood change.
There is also a list of helpful actions to take if you think someone you know is considering suicide. Among them are: Listen. Remove any means for suicide. Get help. Don’t ask “Why?” Don’t lecture. Don’t act shocked. Don’t allow yourself to be sworn to secrecy.
Don’t be afraid to ask someone if he or she is considering suicide.
Contrary to popular hearsay, broaching the subject won’t encourage a person to take his or her life.
The AAS also offers extensive resources for survivors of suicide, including a “Survivors of Suicide Kit;” booklets and handbooks; a quarterly newsletter; an annual conference called “Healing After Suicide;” a resource catalog; resources especially for children and those who care for them; and a directory of support groups.
Sue continues to meet with a support group especially for spouses, though she has to drive nearly 40 miles to get to it.
As she told me several months after Lou’s death, losing someone to suicide “isn’t something that just happens then goes away.”
Four years later, Sue told me that, from time to time, someone will ask her if she’s “gotten over it.” But it’s not, she said, something anyone ever gets over; all one can do, day by day, is learn to live with it.
The AAS sees suicide prevention as everyone’s business. Learn the warning signs of suicidal behavior; know what to do.
Ask your pastor, minister, priest, rabbi or imam about the resources and referrals available at your place of worship.
Consider participating in the AAS A Million Voices campaign, which aims to raise $1 million, $1 at a time. Volunteers ask for a $1 donation in exchange for a card designed by AAS.
The card contains suicide facts, warning signs and information about where to seek help. AAS plans to use 85% of all contributions to fund new support groups, to provide materials for survivors and assistance toward attending its annual Healing After Suicide conference.
If you or someone you know is considering suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-SUICIDE (784-2433). To receive assistance in Spanish, call 1-888-628-9454.
If a person is in immediate danger, however, call 9-1-1.
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