COMMENTS & CURIOSITIES:

An Italophile. Are you one? I am. It means someone who is gaga over Italy and all things Italian. If that applies to you, your time has come, your ship is in, this is the big one, you have struck the mother lode.

In just a few days, you can experience “Italy at South Coast Plaza” — a 25-day celebration of Italy and all things Italian from Thursday to Oct. 29, presented by the mall and the Italian Trade Commission — free of charge, open to the public, just waiting for you to come by and say, “Madonna mia, ecco tutte queste cose Italiane!” which means, “Dude, what’s with all the Italian stuff?”

Whether you have an interest in, a liking of, or a lust for Italian fashion, food and culture, this is, to put it simply, a “must-see, you have no choice, miss it and your life will be an empty meaningless void and that’s on the good days” event.

In addition to a dizzying array of Italian culture, fashion, food and luxury products, there will one special event and fashion preview after another, plus a number of major exhibits making their U.S. debut before touring the country.

“FASHIONSET” will showcase costumes from feature films, including those worn by Claudia Cardinale in “Il Bell’Antonio;” Liza Minelli and Ingrid Bergman in “A Matter of Time;” Scarlett Johansson and Helen Hunt in “A Good Woman;” and Sophia Loren in “Marriage, Italian Style,” which is just like divorce Italian style only without the guns.

For the enthusiastic fans of Italian shoes, there is the “Shoes for the Stars” exhibit, featuring the work of master designers of Italian footwear on- and off-screen — such as Anita Ekberg’s famous though totally wet footwear from “La Dolce Vita.”

Are we done? Whaddaunutz? We’ve barely started. On Level 2 of the Garden Terrace, a team of Sicilian master craftsman will create an “infiorata” — a 20-by-28 copy of Michelangelo’s “The Creation of Adam.”

Volunteers from a number of community and arts organizations will help assemble the artwork, including our very own neighbors, Lorna and Andrea Pizzorni, who are fully qualified to do Italian-themed anything. If you love Italian cars, as if someone doesn’t, there is “Moda & Cinema” — an exhibit of legendary Italian buggies from Ferrari, Lamborghini, Maserati and even a Vespa or two. Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck on a Vespa?

“Roman Holiday?” Any of this ringing a bell? Work with me on this.

The festival’s focal point will be Jewel Court, which has been transformed into a full-on Italian piazza, where Italian Artisans Association members will be strutting their stuff, to say nothing of making it.

Food? My God, the food. While the top Italian designers and craftsmen wow them with Armani to Zegna and everything in between, the Gran Maestro of Italian food, Antonio Cagnolo, will be offering special presentations of Italian food, wine and beer at his South Coast Plaza locations, Nello Cucina and Quattro Caffe’ and of course his flagship restaurant in South Coast Village, Antonello Ristorante. Cagnolo and his executive chef, Franco Barone, will lead you on a culinary odyssey through Italy and Sicily, pairing the distinctive foods and wines of each region that have made them famous.

There will even be a gelato (sigh) tasting and a gelato-making demonstration for those who have no fear of calories and can laugh in the face of carbs.

Finally, there is an element of irony to all this. All right, two ironies.

The first is that, even without the October event, South Coast Plaza has become the largest center for upscale Italian fashion and luxury goods outside Italy. Via Condotti in Rome, Via Tornabuoni in Florence and Via Montenapoleone in Milano — I’ve seen them all, and I’m not sure any of them offers anything like the selection of Italian designers and products that you’ll find at South Coast Plaza including, to name just a few — Armani, Bulgari, Ermenegildo Zegna, Bottega Veneta, Versace, Fendi, Frette, Loro Piana, Roberto Cavalli, Sergio Rossi, Giuseppe Zanotti and of course Gucci and Pucci, not to be confused with Stanley Tucci and Susan Lucci.

That might be why the Italian Ambassador to the United States, Giovanni Castellaneta, said on a visit earlier this year, “I feel perfectly at home in South Coast Plaza. I could have bought everything I’m wearing right here.”

Irony No. 2 is very cruel as ironies go. I am going to miss the big opening on Thursday and the first week’s activities.

Sprained ankle? Facelift? Arrest warrant? None of the above. I will be in, of all places, Italy. In fact, by the time you read this, I will be en route, in the air, trying to find some way to lean back without getting a stiff neck. My brother, Dom, and I are heading to Milano and Sicily for a few days to visit the Buffas who stayed on the other side of the pond. The timing just worked out that way, ironically, but here I am, wanting to go and not wanting to leave, totally conflicted, no solution in sight except eating myself into oblivion, which doesn’t take long where I’m going.

So there you have it. Italy at South Coast Plaza and Buffa in Italy. All I can say is, “Ci vediamo presto auguri e un baccione dall ‘Italia,” which means, don’t eat all the gelato before I get back. I gotta go.

PETER BUFFA is a former Costa Mesa mayor. His column runs Sundays. He may be reached at ptrb4@aol.com.