KIDS THESE DAYS:

The late comedian, author and composer Steve Allen used to do a bit on his television show in which he’d don a fedora with the word “PRESS” written on a piece of paper sticking out of the hat band.

Allen would then take the regular editions of the day’s newspapers and read the letters to the editor. But he read them while raising his voice and shaking his fist, adding a visual component to the writers who were railing against the government, sloppy drivers or pet owners.

I have often borrowed Allen’s bit and performed it in our home for our kids. This happens when there are letters or columns or web posts that disagree with something I’ve written.

The thoughtful comments, that is, the ones that address the subject about which I wrote, are spared. The only ones that make good comedy are the ones that stray from the topic and resort to name-calling to make a point.

I was reminded of this after reading Tony Dodero’s column (“Do columnists need kid gloves?” Sept. 26).

All kids about 10 and older should read Dodero’s column. In it, he discussed the need for columnists to have thick skins because pot shots are being taken at them all the time.

It is part of the job, as Dodero mentions.

But really, suffering criticism, sometimes in a public manner, is part of everyone’s life at some time or another. In the case of politicians, it can happen daily.

Today, we must all acknowledge that everything we do and say can be picked up and distributed worldwide in a flash. Cameras record what used to be hidden.

Even seemingly innocent posts on a MySpace page can come back to haunt someone.

In short, everyone, not just columnists, needs thicker skins these days, and the sooner kids learn this, the better off they’ll be.

In the many years I have been writing this column, I have had many hand grenades launched in my direction.

At one point a few years ago, I needed the help of the Costa Mesa Police Department to resolve an issue with someone who had gone too far.

But in all those years, I have complained about the name-calling to an editor only once.

I can’t speak for other columnists, but it has been my experience as a senior executive who has managed people effectively for over 20 years, and as a former business owner, that most people who lash out in this way have something going wrong in their lives.

After a Steve Allen session, I remind my kids that in almost every case where someone resorts to personal attacks, it is indicative of a deep personal problem, such as the failure to achieve a certain professional goal or status, a serious relationship problem or even a health problem. For these people, an easy target such as a columnist or a politician is a good outlet for their personal frustration.

I also tell my kids that I don’t take this seriously and neither should they.

To prove the point, we then go online, where a calm discussion of a local issue can quickly deteriorate into an exchange of personal insults.

Columnists responding to personal comments is rarely a good idea. Many follow the old rule about responding to venom, the one that says, “Never wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty but the pig likes it.”

STEVE SMITH is a Costa Mesa resident and a freelance writer. Readers may leave a message for him on the Daily Pilot hotline at (714) 966-4664 or send story ideas to dailypilot@latimes.com.