COMMENTS & CURIOSITIES:

Is it possible? Could an entire year have gone by since the last extremely significant November dinner?

Apparently it is, and it has, as hard as that is to believe. Yes, it is time to get that chubby little bird in the oven once again.

If you don’t know the history of Thanksgiving by now, there is no more I can do for you. As far as the first T-Day goes, we have covered the where: Plymouth colony; the who: Pilgrim settlers and Indian neighbors; the what: turkeys, the wild kind, seafood by the boatload, lots of deer, loads of vegetables, fruits and nuts.

Pop quiz — were the potatoes baked, boiled or mashed? Hint: It’s a trick question. Tick, tick, tick — time’s up. There were no potatoes, sweet or otherwise. They didn’t grow them, didn’t know them.

Cranberry sauce? Nope. Pumpkin pie? Sorry. Sugar was way too valuable to waste on sweetening cranberries or pie filling, although they ate a lot of boiled pumpkin sweetened with honey. Corn on the cob? Not on your life. Indian corn couldn’t be eaten au natural. It was dried out and stored for grain. But enough about the Pilgrims. Nice people, dull as a butter knife, silly shoes.

Here is the issue on the table for this Thanksgiving — what are the 299 million or so Americans besides you making for T-Day? What’s in and what’s out, and most important, how many of them are coming to your house?

Well, this is your lucky day, Pilgrim. It just so happens that www.AllRecipes.com did a national survey to find all that out, starting with the “must-have” main course for Thanksgiving dinner. It may be a goofy, not-too-bright bird the rest of the year, but on the Super Thursday, turkey is king. A staggering 93% said no turkey, no Thanksgiving.

“Sides without which one cannot live?”

Stuffing/dressing, 93%; gravy, 87%; mashed potatoes, 82%; rolls, 73%; cranberry sauce, 71.4%; sweet potato casserole, 38%; yams, 25%; the dreaded Jell-O salad, 13%; linguine and clams, 9%. Just kidding. Nobody said linguine and clams. I made that up.

A long list of “Others” came in at 34%, including chestnuts, creamed corn, corn pudding, broccoli, and Brussels sprouts. Would whoever said Brussels sprouts raise your hand and contact me at your earliest convenience? We need to talk.

“Favorite Desserts?” Charlie Brown was right, the Great Pumpkin rules: pumpkin pie, 77%; apple, 28%; pecan pie, 24%. An important stat: 29% said wine was essential. Boy, is that the truth.

“If you’re doing a bird, how do you plan to cook it?”

Again, no contest — roasted/baked, 86%; deep fried, 6% (still don’t understand how you do that); smoked, 2%; and grilled, 1%. “Other” came in at 5%, including a crock pot, which must be one honker of a crock pot, and something I don’t need to know more about — a tofu turkey.

“Do you plan on brining your turkey this year?”

No, 56%; yes, 15%; and I like this one: what’s brining? 25%.

“Is there any variation in the foods on your holiday table from year to year?”

Nope, it’s all tradition, all the time — slight changes, no major overhauls, 75%; we’re always trying something new, 14%; same menu every year, 11%.

“How many people are you cooking for this year?”

Five to ten, 40%; eleven or more, 31%; three to four, 13%; one to two, 4%, and the people who know how to do Thanksgiving right — someone else is cooking, 12%.

There were also some interesting T-Day factoids in a Newsweek.comsurvey: 20% of Americans have their Christmas shopping done by Thanksgiving Day (what is wrong with them?); 57% say their favorite Thanksgiving dinner is their mother’s; 20% say they’d like to have their T-Day dinner prepared by a celebrity chef, although I’m not sure I want Emeril Lagasse in the kitchen at 0800 Thursday morning thank you, and finally, the depressing stuff.

The typical Thanksgiving dinner with sides and dessert tips the scales at a jaw-dropping 2,500 calories and 86 grams of fat, which is the equivalent of 16 slices of pepperoni pizza. Yikes. Glad we found that out.

So there you have it. Everything you need to know about Thanksgiving, tofu turkeys and linguine.

It’s an odd tradition, no? Eight hours to make the dinner, 25 minutes to eat it, then two and a half hours of everyone lying around like polar bears in the sun. Could you pass the white please? I gotta go.

PETER BUFFA is a former Costa Mesa mayor. His column runs Sundays. He may be reached at ptrb4@aol.com.