Booming with love

When Pat Burns became a grandmother at the ripe old age of 43, she was a little “shaken” and somewhat “rattled.”

Just for a minute.

It didn’t take long for the optimistic, music-loving baby boomer to decide to “roll” with it.

Burns was in the delivery room with her 18-year-old daughter when grandson Dylan was born. She described seeing the baby for the first time as “love at first sight” and knew instantly she would make sure she had a solid connection with her grandson no matter what she was doing.

That could have been easier said than done.

What Burns was doing at the time was working full-time, traveling all over the world on her job and enjoying the freedom that went hand-in-hand with being a single, successful woman.

She had no idea how the rock ‘n’ rollin’ baby boomer she perceived herself to be would be able to transition into what seemed a sedate grandparents’ existence.  

“Grandparents Rock, The Grandparenting Guide For the Rock-N-Roll Generation,” is the book Burns penned 15 years later. It recently was named a finalist in the Parenting/Family category in the National Best Books 2007 Awards for USABookNews.com.

The book is the inspirational tale of her experience as a grandparenting member of the generation she said “never expected to age.”

As a new grandmother, Burns had gone looking for books that would offer fun ways to get involved with her grandchildren. Everything she picked up was dated, with suggestions that presumed the reader was in the middle of nowhere and had nothing to do.

Burns played with Dylan, and made stuff up as she went along, always doing what came naturally for her. Sometimes that included building forts with broccoli, gelatin squares and ice cream cones for little green Army men on a table in the middle of a restaurant.

Every time she had an idea, she wrote it down and filed it away.

Each chapter in Burns’ book is named after a classic rock ‘n’ roll hit and how it applied to her life at that time, which is why Chapter 1 was aptly titled, “Shake, Rattle and Roll.”

Most of the baby boomers becoming grandparents today are in their 50s or approaching 60, Burns said, but neither she nor the people she interviewed for her book have any intention of slowing down.

“I really want to be the voice of those grandparents who are not sitting on the couch all day, that aren’t just playing golf. They’re contributing to society in some way, whether it’s socially, economically because you’re still working, or religiously and spiritually.”

One thing Burns addresses in the book is the diverse nature of what defines a family these days, and if families are diverse, so then are what she described as the “dozens of grandparenting configurations.” Grandchildren are adopted, they’re from different sets of parents, they have single parents, they have same-sex parents, and they’re multiracial.

None of that matters, Burns said. What remains constant is that grandparents love being grandparents, and the last chapter in the book, “Let It Be,” is about speaking words of wisdom and sharing that love.

“I’m here to inspire love, and I’d love to inspire it between generations. If I can do that, teach that, inspire that, oh man!”

One person she inspired was her grandson. From the time Dylan was a toddler, Burns made sure she laid the foundation for what would become a special bond between the two.

Whenever she saw him — and even when she was far away — Dylan got Gummy Bears. Burns mailed them when she was traveling, and said when Dylan got the lumpy, bumpy envelopes in the mail, he knew they were from Grammy.

“When you have one little thing that’s consistent, you can build your relationship on that,” Burns said.

Two years ago, Burns and Dylan traveled to Africa together. They visited a lot of cool places, and went on safaris, but they also visited an abandoned baby center in Nairobi, which Dylan told her was his favorite part of the trip.

“He told me he’s going to come back when he has his own family, and they’re going to stay a long time and make a difference. He was 13 years old when he said that. If I could put that in his heart at that age, I’m done.”

Well, not yet.

Burns became a grandmother for the second time when granddaughter Skye was born 26 months ago, and her daughter and son-in-law are planning to adopt a child from Ethiopia next year.

In the meantime, she and Skye are making their own memories. They have a special song that Burns sings and Skye recognizes instantly.

“I sing to her on the phone, and she knows it’s me. We have this great, fun, total-blast time.”

Her book is fun, informative and the first in a series she’s planning, Burns said. Future books will explore grandparenting and money, busy boomer grandparents, dating for grandparents and grandparenting teens.

“The book is a resource guide for us baby boomers who are also grandparents that want to keep the love going, and be able to quickly know where to find the information we’re looking for.”

For information on Pat Burns or to order the book, visit her website at www.grandparentsrock.com

SUE THOENSEN may be reached at (714) 966-4627 or at sue.thoensen@latimes.com.