WHAT’S SO FUNNY: Dining near the stars

The Kiralys are home again, through about four separate snowstorms — back from a week at the Sundance Film Festival in Park City, Utah, where we saw a movie I wrote called “Diminished Capacity.” Its stars, Alan Alda, Matthew Broderick and Virginia Madsen, all attended the premiere screening.

I was nervous before the three screenings I saw — one of them was at 8:30 a.m., not an ideal time for a comedy — but the audiences laughed at the funny parts, didn’t cough when it got serious, clapped at the end and spoke appreciatively during the Q-and-A afterward, so we felt good about it.

Park City is crowded and glitzy during Sundance. All week, people were looking around for movie stars. My head was on a swivel, too — just to spot a star, not to try to talk to one. I can’t do that.

Of course, I spoke to the actors from “Diminished” because I knew them by then, but I can’t talk to strange celebrities. It seems too intrusive. Maybe if I saved one from drowning, but otherwise, no.

It’s fun to see them, though, and the best opportunity to rub elbows with a luminary at Park City is when they’re eating at the next table. We got our chance while dining with friends at a Main Street restaurant.

A group of 10 or 12 people sat near us, and halfway through our meal Patti Jo murmured, “How much does that guy look like Dennis Hopper?”

Quite a bit, I thought. I’ve known what Dennis Hopper looks like since he was playing mixed-up kids in Westerns 50 years ago. But I could see him only in profile. I hesitated. I didn’t want to be one of those people who think Elvis is in the soft-drink aisle.

Or who mix up their actors. During our film shoot, Alan Alda said his “M*A*S*H” costar Harry Morgan was once accosted by a man who demanded, “You know who you are?”

“Yes,” admitted Morgan, “I’m Harry Morgan.”

“No,” the man insisted. “You’re, you’re … Human Crone!”

That guy even got the wrong name wrong. I told Patti Jo our neighbor looked like Hopper but I wasn’t sure, so she asked our friend Jay Martin, who directs music videos and is used to seeing celebrities. He looked over briefly and said, “That is 100% Dennis Hopper.”

He then pointed out Charlize Theron and Woody Harrelson, also at the table. We’d missed them completely.

A daunting group, but we enjoyed having them nearby while we finished eating — it made us feel like we were really somewhere.

Then we left, walking past their table without incident. That’s a great thing about celebrities: If you leave them alone, they’ll leave you alone.

SHERWOOD KIRALY is a Laguna Beach resident. He has written four novels, three of which were critically acclaimed.