WHAT’S SO FUNNY: Brainpower may run dry soon

Given all the rain we’ve had this winter, the idea of a water shortage in Laguna seems odd. But apparently we’re dependent on water from elsewhere, and we don’t have enough.

Soon, however, we should have more. By “we” I mean the town. I, myself, will have less.

We’re repairing the upstairs shower in our house, and that probably means that the greatest shower I’ve ever had is dying.

The essential key to a good shower is, of course, consistent temperature. Nobody likes the sudden warm-to-arctic-to-scalding kind.

But you guys will understand when I say that water pressure is a close second.

My ideal water pressure is the kind I’ve seen in films — the kind they used on Paul Newman in “The Drowning Pool,” the kind they use on elephants, rioting prisoners and towering infernos.

A strong flow, is what I’m saying. Our upstairs shower has always been strong. It was strong when we moved in; in fact it was one of the reasons we moved in. A strong shower helps you think.

I think better in the shower than anywhere else.

I believe studies have confirmed that hot water hammering on the base of the skull releases — I don’t know the scientific term; let’s call them “eurekas.” The little bubbles that pop in your head and tell you what to say at the presentation, or how to fix the plot.

My brains are tied to my shower, if you can picture that.

Once I’m toweled off, my mental activity gradually slows to the point where it’s imperceptible.

I need my strong-shower inspirations, acted on over the course of the day, to make me seem productive.

Unfortunately, our plumber just told me that today’s new showers are all water-savers. That means the pressure is unlikely to be as strong as it used to be. It’s so the community can save water.

When I heard this, my sense of community wasn’t, at first, aroused.

I told the plumber the community had survived my old shower pressure for over a decade and it could jolly well go on doing so.

But he said that was no longer an option.

Apparently plumbers and customers have been battling over water-saving technology for awhile.

At first water-saver valves were inserted inside the shower pipe, but customers kept taking the valves out.

So now the pipe itself is narrower, and the water just can’t get through as it did before.

There’s nothing I can do about it.

I have to help the community whether I want to or not.

So I’ve decided to help the community.

If my losing my old water pressure will help the rest of you, no doubt it’s worth it. I’ll do it. The greater good and all that.

But I’m going to miss my brains.

SHERWOOD KIRALY is a Laguna Beach resident. He has written four novels, three of which were critically acclaimed.