CHASING DOWN THE MUSE: Mother’s Day is precious

An abundance of bird song fills the air on this gray May morning, seeming to pay tribute to the bountiful renewal of nature around us. The first few days of this springtime month have brought celebrations galore. We have gone from May Day and the many holidays associated with it to Sunday’s Holocaust Remembrance to Cinco de Mayo and now move toward the Sunday celebration of our mothers.

In ancient times, there was a mother goddess and mothers were venerated (boy, don’t I just wish!) as a source of new life through the worship of this goddess. The festival that celebrated the mother goddess was held just at this time of year when nature is busy renewing itself.

The modern Mother’s Day, which had humble beginnings in Grafton, Va., has become pretty much a commercial enterprise. Flowers and cards and other gifts are de rigueur and phone lines are abuzz with calls to those mothers who may not be nearby. Too often there is a sense of guilty “must” and “should” attached to all this.

So, since it is my nature to question and examine things rather than simply accepting, I find myself doing just that on this gray May morning. I keep turning to thoughts of the gifts of and from the mothers rather than those given to them. Even the worst of mothers has given her child some gifts, whether genetic or simply an implied edict not to be like them. We cannot help but respond to our mothers and do many things either because of or in spite of them. And so the gifts, as I choose to call them, are there for all.

It is often said it is a shame that children do not come with a manual. It is true and, actually, there seem to be more and more manuals of sorts coming out all the time. From the hospital manual my own mother took home on feeding and caring and “what to do until the doctor comes” through Dr. Spock’s “Baby and Child Care” to present-day Dr. Sears books and online resources, there is a plethora of advice and information for new mothers. Yet, even with the best of information and advice, the gifts from our mothers may not always be what we would hope.

Mothers are caregivers, teachers, mentors, disciplinarians and more. They can be our harshest critics and our biggest fans. On this day of reflection I think back on the gifts given by my mother and hers before her — things not found in any manual. I think of what I would wish for all mothers to impart to their children. I wonder what lessons or gifts my own daughters have received from me over the years.

My grandmother gave me the gift of caring for myself. My mother showed me ways to care for others. I can only wish my daughters have learned both of these. My grandmother gave me the gifts of time and attention when my busy mother could not. I hope my daughters have cherished memories such as my own gleaned from quality time spent together.

My grandmother’s unconditional love supported me through many years, and I still receive this love from my mother today. From these women I also learned responsibility, patience and embracing of joy. It would be my wish that my daughters and all children would receive these same gifts.

And so, while nature is busily renewing itself around me and the birds sing their praises, I, too, pay tribute, with love, honor, respect , and a little of that veneration to all the mothers and their many gifts.

And what do I want most as a mother on this Sunday and every day? I would like the gift of time — time lived in the present moments — with my own daughters, with my mother, and with myself and friends.

I wish for you all the enjoyment of the gifts of your mothers, whether they are with you or departed, for this Mother’s Day and always.

CHERRIL DOTY is an artist, writer, and creative coach exploring and enjoying the many mysteries of life in the moment. She can be reached by e-mail at Cherril@cherrildoty.com or by phone at (949) 251-3883.