MAILBAG:

EDITOR’S NOTE: The following letter is in response to the June 26 Soul Food column, “Churches bite nails as gay couples rejoice.”

Diann and I got married June 17 at the Laguna Hills Courthouse in front of my 80-year-old mother, Diann’s 85-year-old father and his wife, my brother and his partner, and a tearful deputy commissioner.

It was a momentous, emotional, joyous and exciting day for us, as we have waited for this moment for more than 32 years. Finally, we were allowed to walk up to the county clerk’s counter and apply for a civil marriage license. I was stunned by how moved I was; tears were plentiful from all who were there.

Diann and I have journeyed through our lives together: building a business, paying taxes, volunteering in our community, taking care of dying parents and siblings, nurturing friendships, loving and laughing, all the things married people do, but in our case, without the benefit of a civil marriage license. Finally, we were entitled to be part of society (albeit still not a full partner, as the federal government has yet to recognize our union).

I’ve spoken for PFLAG (Parents, family & friends of lesbians & gays) since 1978, the same year the powers that be (Sen. John Briggs) tried to make it OK to fire a teacher if they found out he/she were gay/lesbian. Since many of my friends were in education and were afraid to speak out, I did.

Since then, I’ve talked to hundreds of high schools, colleges, churches, etc. on the topic of homosexuality. Lately much of the dialogue focuses on gay marriage. I often spend a lot of time talking about the more than 1,000 rights couples are granted simply by getting civilly married.

But on June 17, the “rights” didn’t enter my mind; it was about finally being included, being allowed to use the same vernacular (Diann is now my legal spouse), it was the end of our disenfranchisement, of our marginalization. For Diann and I, it was about love.

This honoring of our love does not impose any restrictions on religious freedoms. Those religious sects that choose not to welcome us or marry us do not have to change their policies or views, but civil marriage is a legal right that must be protected for all couples whether gay or straight.

When Diann and I, and our families pulled up to the Laguna Hills Courthouse we noticed a group of people gathered in front of the building. A little unsure who they were, we walked around them. However, they smiled and invited us to come through their “welcoming” line. They were members of the Mission Viejo Unitarian Church handing out roses and blessings and hugs to all who arrived to get married that day. I’m crying now thinking about their outpouring of love. Isn’t that what Jesus would have done? Loving all who come to him.

Terry Eselun

Huntington Beach

Rep.’s staff out of touch with H.B. voters

One of the letters to the editor (“Rohrabacher’s staff shows disconnect with constituents,” June 26) wrote about the way Rep. Dana Rohrabacher and his staff treat his constituents. It was the exact treatment I have received from the congressman for the last 10 years.

Her examples were she either got an etiquette lesson or was booted out of the office. Mine was a group of us went to his office on Main Street to discuss a problem we had with his stand. He, of course, wasn’t there, and in 10 years the many times I have gone to his office, he is never there, or at least that’s what I have been told.

A woman who said she had just been hired to talk to us came out and turned to our spokesperson and said, “I don’t want you to say another word. You are sending out bad vibes!”

My letters that I send to him receive the same treatment the reader’s letter described. We both write about a subject and are answered by the congressman thanking us for our letter on a subject we hadn’t mentioned. After many of my letters received the same treatment I suggested he not answer his mail if he didn’t read it. I no longer write him.

It’s time for a change. Huntington Beach needs a new person in Congress to represent us.

Vote for Cook.

Eileen Murphy

Huntington Beach

Not enough can be said about congressional race

I want to thank the Independent for devoting attention to a race that really matters for Huntington Beach voters this election year, the battle for the 46th Congressional District. For too many years, partisan buffoon Rohrabacher has been a poor representative for the interests of all his constituents.

The emergence of Huntington Beach Mayor Debbie Cook as a strong candidate, one who is smart, tough, fair and experienced as an elected official, finally gives some hope to those here who yearn for effective representation in Washington, D.C. I look forward to reading more about this race as it progresses.

Tim Geddes

Huntington Beach

Mail to the Huntington Beach Independent, 1375 Sunflower Ave., Costa Mesa, CA 92626. Send a fax to (714) 966-4667 or e-mail us at hbindy@latimes.com. All correspondence must include full name, hometown and phone number (for verification purposes). The Independent reserves the right to edit all submissions for clarity and length.