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RECIPE FOR SUCCESS:

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We pride ourselves on being a free society, but the freedoms we enjoy did not arrive without conflict and struggle.

We’ve come so far, yet as far as human rights go, we still have a ways to go.

In this country, there are still those who object to giving gay people the basic right to marry the people they love. Human rights versus religion is where the argument continually goes. But isn’t there a separation between church and state?

In a world with so much hatred and violence, should we deny love to anyone?

Many objecting to the word “marriage” say it would be acceptable if these unions were called something else.

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So how far should we go in denying people rights over semantics? It wasn’t so long ago when interracial marriages were outlawed in some states.

But not everyone is upset by this new ruling. My friend Roseanne Barr says the religious right should be for gay marriage.

After all, if you want people to stop having sex, let them get married.

It’s worked for her.

An attorney friend of mine joked that when having lunch with colleagues they’ve deemed the new gay marriage law “The Gainful Employment Act for Lawyers.”

“There are so many unanswered legal questions this new law raises,” said attorney Mark Eskander. “For instance, gay married couples will be able to file joint state tax returns, yet how do they file federal tax returns when the federal government doesn’t recognize their marriages?”

For probate attorneys, the question of assets passing from one gay married spouse to the other after death will also be at issue.

For those coming to California to get hitched and returning to states that don’t recognize their marriages, where does that leave them legally?

“Gay clients are calling asking about prenuptial agreements, adoptions and custody issues now — issues we’ve not dealt with in the past,” Eskander said. “I’m cautioning my gay clients to take a deep breath and not rush into anything. I’d hate to see them get married and if the law is rescinded, have them disappointed. More importantly, it’s easy enough to get married, not so easy to undo that decision when things go bad. “

Enter divorce attorneys. When the blush comes off the rose, they’ll have a field day.

One of my gay friends recently confided in me that this new law complicates his life with his partner.

You see, men are men; commitment is not something that comes easy for them, whether they are straight or gay. So he now faces the same dilemma that straight couples have for years. How many years is it appropriate to live with someone before popping the question? The pressure is on!

There is no one recipe for success to answer any of these questions. State and federal laws will take years to catch up and be in sync. All eyes are on California as other states revise their own laws.

Years ago my cooking show partner, John Crean, was asked, “What do you think of gay marriage?”

John quickly replied in his deadpan manner, “I’m all for it. Why should me and my friends be the only ones to suffer?”


BARBARA VENEZIA is the chairman of the Santa Ana Hts. Redevelopment Project Advisor Committee and was the co-creator of the cooking show “At Home on the Range” with John Crean.

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