CINDY, INCIDENTALLY:

A few weeks ago I was reading a magazine article with a headline that read: “Frenemies: The McCain and Bush Dance.”

Wow, was all I could think; now here was a brilliant use of a slang word — typically reserved for celebrity tabloids and teen novels — and here it was oozed into the political arena, and it fit perfectly.

To explain, a frenemy is often used to describe an enemy disguised as a friend, according to the Urban Dictionary. The word typically floats around girl groups where love-hate friendships are the norm, and cattiness and gossip are the foundation for these friendships.

Take note of Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, who are referred to as best frenemies. Or there’s the 2004 movie “Mean Girls,” which gave birth to the word “frenemy” and showed us what a group of well-dressed girls can do when pissed off.

While it would be easy to dismiss a frenemy to the halls of high school or the playground, the truth is it happens in nearly all relationships regardless of age and gender.

After reading about Bush and McCain’s frenemy relationship, I began to research how to spot a frenemy, how to handle if you have one, how to tell if you are the frenemy and how to end a frenemy friendship.

I found a great “How to Spot a Frenemy” article on ehow.com. Author Amanda Ford broke it down into a few different tips:

 Pay attention to how you act in the presence of a potential frenemy.

 Look for patterns.

 Acknowledge your paradoxical feelings.

 Compare and contrast with a friend who you don’t think is a frenemy and trust your instincts.

Cat Nance, 21, in Huntington Harbour, explained that right now, she’s in the midst of a frenemy relationship with one of her oldest gal pals. The reason? A boyfriend.

“Her boyfriend is stupid, so she’s fallen through the cracks,” Nance admits. “With a frenemy there are things you like about them, but they annoy you. There’s a friction that’s happening all the time.”

Jeff, who didn’t want to reveal his last name for fear of talking about his frenemies, revealed that guys do deal with messy friendships.

“Guys are frenemies too,” he said. “Sometimes you really like them because they help you or you need something from them … it’s like you like them, but you really don’t like them.”

While trying to find out if I have any frenemies, I realized it’s easy to go from friend to frenemy, without really meaning to.

There are days when you aren’t as giving to a friend, not as understanding, or if you have a friend who has been around for a long time, you can take them for granted. If it’s worth it to you, relationships can be fixed with the right amount of tender love and care.

“For me there’s a tie that bonds (with my frenemy) … a sense of history between us,” Nance said. “That’s why I don’t give up on the friendship.”

CINDY ARORA is a freelance writer for the Independent.