SOUNDING OFF:

I just read with interest the article “Divided on Environment” (Aug. 14), which detailed the different environmental stances of Congressional candidate Debbie Cook and Rep. Dana Rohrabacher.

And boy are they different. It’s so nice when politicians make it so easy to decide! Rohrabacher supports drilling for oil off the shores of Huntington Beach, and Cook supports looking for ways to end our addiction to oil.

Rohrabacher says global warming is a hoax and climate trends are not affected by human carbon emissions. Cook thinks we need to start looking for ways to help stop climate change.

And frankly I think Rohrabacher has it right.

Let’s drill off the coast. In fact, let’s drill on the coast. Let’s make Huntington Beach look like those quaint photos from 80 years ago where we had oil derricks up and down the beaches, drilling right around the lazy sunbathers. We used to be an oil city and frankly let’s get back (or drill down) to our roots. Surf City sounds wimpy. Let’s go for Drill City or Oil Town USA or something that has a bit more machismo to it. As Rohrabacher said, it’s only “Rich people in their boats or in their coastal houses (who) don’t want to see an oil rig in the distance.” Clearly, rich people with offices overlooking the ocean — like Rohrabacher’s — will not mind.

And what’s the worst that can happen? We have a teeny weenie little oil spill that would foul up our beaches, kill our tourist-based economy and maybe pollute the water for surfers and junior lifeguards. Whaaaa! Whaa! In fact, I think surfers can go faster on an oil slick, tourists are foreigners who probably won’t return again, and junior lifeguards should be strong enough swimmers to suck it up. Deal with it, people. Do you want to knock 50 cents off the price of gas by 2030 or not?

And as for global warming, give me a break. Warmer temperatures mean more tourists for Surf City, err, Drill Town USA. My man Rohrabacher says there are thousands of scientists who now believe it is a hoax, and hopefully he’ll be revealing the names of these scientists and their thoughtful research papers will be published on his website, rohrabacher.house.gov, very soon. And while you’re visiting this cool site, don’t miss the killer speech on how the AIDS relief bill for Africa is “generosity to foreigners.” I shed a tear. It was beautiful.

And what’s the deal with this Debbie Cook? She doesn’t want to drill for oil in our own back yard? That sounds weak-kneed and frankly, un-American. She also supported the Bolsa Chica Wetlands, and look how that turned out. It’s filled with dumb birds (who fly into glass partitions) and sea creatures when we could have had 3,000 more badly needed million-dollar homes (hopefully not rich people complaining about their views again). This tree-hugger Cook also stopped the Orange County Sanitation District from dumping partially treated sewage off the coast of Huntington Beach. Surfer protectionism again? Honestly, I miss that slightly dizzy feeling and tingling sensation after being in the Huntington Beach waters.

Bottom line, my friends, we need to rally around Rohrabacher and get him elected again and again and again!

And don’t forget to sign the petition for the name change (note: we may have to sue Houston for the Oil Town USA moniker, so maybe we should just stick with Drill City).

JIM DELULIO is a Huntington Beach resident.