CINDY, INCIDENTALLY:

Last Sunday morning I made my way to a cooking class where I was going to spend the day making seasonal autumnal dishes with a bunch of strangers (and gourmands) I met through an online cooking group.

This was my first attempt at expanding my horizons, exploring some hobbies and trying to make new friends as an adult.

Months ago when I moved back home, one of the things I didn’t consider was that most of my friends had moved to another state, gotten married or were coupled up and no longer at my disposal on Friday and Saturday nights.

For a while it was fine. I’m not some recent college grad who gets anxious at the thought of staying home on a Saturday night. No way. I love renting a chick flick and drinking wine like every other hot-blooded female older than 25.

But, after a while, no matter how much you love your own company, it’s time to get back out there.

What I’ve discovered is that making new friends is very similar to dating.

As in, it takes some effort, energy and enthusiasm. You can’t just stay home and hope your new best friend and exciting social life is going to show up at your front door with a six-pack and some smokes.

I began to look around and ask people how they made new friends as a grown-up. I even read a how-to guide on Wikipedia and found a step-by-step on what it takes to make new friends. Secretly I mocked it, but I read it anyway because it never hurts to educate oneself.

A few tip included were: Be reliable, be a good listener, initiate outings, and be a positive person.

I asked a few friends who lived in other states and had made some stable friendships for their sage advice and most of them said that if I explored my hobbies I would find like-minded female friends.

One spot everyone kept mentioning was an online social community called www.meetup.com, which pretty much has any kind of group you can think of, seriously.

I logged in one afternoon and ended up spending hours looking at all of the different groups available to anyone and everyone.

In Huntington Beach and Fountain Valley, the two most popular types of groups are for dog lovers and stay-at-home moms.

People can join a group if they own Corgis, Cavalier King Charles Spaniels; if you are an off-leash enthusiast, there’s also a place for you. There’s also a new group for women who love miniature pooches, which was pretty cute.

Local moms could meet with others in the area for lunches and brunches, stroller walks along the strand and play-dates at the park.

While they both sounded fun, I have no dog and no baby, so I’m out.

But the city is also crawling with dozens of exercise groups including running, roller-blading and beach boot camp groups. There are a few book clubs, action figure meet-ups and one for people interested in paranormal activity. I also found a couple of groups for singles in the area for people in their 20s and 30s, where weekly dinners and bar nights were part of the group.

I asked one of the organizers about the kind of people who join and she said, “I was in the situation where my friends are all married and have babies or are having babies …This is why we decided to start this group so we can meet new people as well who have more time to do things.”

In the end, I found that my interest pulled me more toward cooking clubs or bike riding versus singles or beach boot camps.

This was how I found myself on a Sunday morning making lamb tenderloin and an heirloom tomato salad with the help of an enthusiastic chef.

Truthfully, starting over again can be hard and intimidating, but underneath it is a new beginning and that’s always a good direction to be moving toward.

CINDY ARORA is a freelance writer. She may be reached at paprgrrl@gmail.com.