KIDS THESE DAYS:
The concept of what exactly is a family has been stretched in recent years, thanks largely to a divorce rate that is around 50%.
The soft term for the parents who divorce, remarry and have stepchildren living together is “blended family.” That sounds more like a smoothie than a group of adults and children living under one roof.
One of the members of a family who does not get discussed very much is the family pet. Last week, our family learned a lesson in just how much a pet can be family.
Our cat, Kisa, is 2 1/2 years old. She was a gift to our daughter, Kaitlyn, on her 16th birthday, and the two have been as close as any siblings could be.
When Kaitlyn is home from school, Kisa follows her around the house. Kisa sleeps in Kaitlyn’s bed, and unless I bribe her with a recognizable call for feeding time, she will answer only to Kaitlyn’s call to come home.
Kaitlyn is even referred to around the house as Kisa’s “mommy.”
A couple of weeks ago, I discovered a bump on Kisa’s back that was about the diameter of a quarter. Three days later, she was in the veterinarian’s office for surgery to have the lump removed and analyzed.
Before the surgery, I initiated a difficult conversation with Kaitlyn, explaining to her that while her parents also love Kisa very much, there was a limit to how much money we could spend to restore her health.
I explained that we have choices to make, and that with one kid in college and another one headed there in a couple of years, we have to be careful about our finances.
“In other words,” I said, “if I have to make a choice between spending a lot of money that would otherwise go to a college fund for you or your brother, I am going to choose college.”
Kaitlyn understood, and Kisa went in for surgery. She came out with a very long incision, and we were told that the “abscess” was much larger than they expected.
Around the same time that Kisa was having surgery, “Nick” was undergoing treatments for prostate cancer.
Nick is a dog who lives in another part of Costa Mesa and is owned by Kathy, a single “mom,” so to speak. Kathy has no children and no relatives here in California.
“Nick is my child,” she told me.
Nick’s treatments are going to cost Kathy a rather tidy sum; an amount that most people would think twice about paying. But to Kathy, there was no hesitation — Nick will get whatever care he needs to get back to health.
In both cases, there are commitments. The two situations are different, and each one presents its own set of priorities. And while I would never second-guess the decision of any pet owner to spend whatever he or she wants to spend on saving a pet, I hope that I am not judged as cruel or insensitive for placing a dollar value on Kisa’s life, which is apparently what I have done.
Kathy understands our situation at home, as I hope others do, but she added that she believes a pet owner with sufficient means should pay for their care. If nothing else, she believes that commitment should be made even before getting a pet.
So, what does a pet owner do? As of this writing, we do not have the pathology report on Kisa’s lump so I cannot tell you whether she has cancer.
We are hoping for the best, not because I want to be spared the agony of determining how much to spend to save her, but because I don’t want to see her suffer.
STEVE SMITH is a Costa Mesa resident and a freelance writer. Send story ideas to dailypilot@latimes.com.
All the latest on Orange County from Orange County.
Get our free TimesOC newsletter.
You may occasionally receive promotional content from the Daily Pilot.