Sounding Off:

Dear President Obama,

Having just observed the result of the negotiations involving you and your staff during the recent loan/bailout/ bankruptcy of the Chrysler Corporation, I thought now might be the perfect time to get in touch with you regarding my own little company.

My wife and I started our medical services company 32 years ago this month. Although we frequently needed additional capital for growth, banks we approached with loan requests only wanted to know one thing: How much equity do you have in your home? So, we were forced to “bootstrap,” meaning forgo personal income and grow the business out of receivables. A slow and steady method, to be sure, but reasonably successful, as we now employ 25 people and fill a necessary niche in the health-care marketplace.

However, if we had some serious money we could buy up all our competition and make a really big splash in our specialty. I’m thinking a loan of a few hundred million bucks ought to do, a billion tops. And I’m not worrying about paying it back, because once you nationalize health care, prices are sure to rise higher than Paris Hilton’s skirt.

And with all the additional profit we’ll be making, we’ll be able to repay the loan with interest. And even if we don’t, it seems no one will care, as evidenced by the $4 billion you loaned Chrysler pre-bankruptcy, which evaporated when they pulled the plug. Poof!

In fact, considering you gave 55% of Chrysler to the UAW in exchange for not one single penny, and 20% of the company to Italian carmaker Fiat for not one single lira, and kept only 8% for all of us taxpayers even though we’ve put up billions and will fork over billions more, it’s looking like the negotiating prowess of your team makes this a really good time for my wife and me to make this request.

It seems the only folks who really took a haircut in the Chrysler deal were the secured creditors who had actually put up all the money for Chrysler to continue operating. These are the retired teachers and firemen and policemen and 401(k) and IRA investors who bought the bonds, and whom you called “rogue hedge funds” and “speculators” (isn’t that the same thing as investors?) and your team called “un-American” because they wouldn’t roll over and play dead during the negotiations.

Who do they think they are, anyway?

One small problem, however: We’re current on our taxes. I hope that won’t disqualify us from consideration.

By the way, you owned a big honking, thirsty Chrysler hemi 300C just like mine before you decided to make a run for president. I know it was necessary to trade it in for a hybrid (got to keep those greenies happy, right?), but just between you and me, you liked it more than that weenie little Tinker Toy thing you own now, right?

Well, I’ve got to go now. I’m on my way to trade my orphan 300C in on a new Pontiac. Awaiting your call, I remain, very truly yours.

CHUCK CASSITY lives in Costa Mesa.