Rigonomics:

If you had a fire in your kitchen and the fire department put it out, would you be a little bit surprised if 30 days later you got a bill for their services?

What if you felt a pain in your chest and called the paramedics? The city paramedics come and an ambulance whisks you off to Hoag Hospital. Would you be a little shocked if 30 days later you received a $275 bill for a “First Responder Fee?” What if you have a no-injury fender-bender on Harbor Boulevard and a little antifreeze spilled on the pavement? Three weeks later the fire department sends you a bill for “Hazardous Waste Cleanup.” Would you feel better knowing that maybe you could send these bill to your insurance company to pay?

If you think any of those suggestions are ridiculous, you are wrong. Based on the logic of the Costa Mesa Fire Department, all of those charges would and should be legally collectible.

In trying to close the $19.5-million budget gap, Costa Mesa City Council members asked all city departments to come up with ways to save money. I do not know any of the ideas our fire officials had, but they came up with at least five ways the city could charge for services they are already doing. According to the staff report from the Fire Department/Prevention Division, the California Health and Safety Code allows municipalities to recover the “costs reasonably borne for services provided to the community.” It calls the bill they send you “beneficiary charges,” which are defined as payments made by consumers in direct exchange for government services received.

Last time I checked, these “government services received” were already paid for in the $22 million of taxes we already spend on the fire department. The sleight of hand the fire department used to sell these fees was not to worry you — you do not have to pay the fees; your insurance company will do it for you. I do not know what gold-plated health insurance policy they are reading — probably the health insurance policies government employees get. In my Anthem Blue Cross policy, even after I pay my $1,000 deductible, I still pay 40% of all ambulance charges. Of course, that is only if they are normal and customary. I was not aware that it is customary for fire departments to charge for these services. I thought we already paid them to be first responders, but I guess that was my mistake.

Luckily for us, the city has not actually approved this stunt. Councilman Eric Bever asked for a re-hearing at the council’s next meeting regarding charging EMS fees to Costa Mesa residents. I talked to Mayor Allan Mansoor, and after getting more information about the program, he is starting to think this may not be such a good idea.

If the City Council starts allowing city departments to start charging residents fees for services they are already paying for, who knows what other fees you will see.

Based on the fire department’s logic it would be perfectly reasonable for the police department to send out a bill to any victim who files a report. I can see it now; your home is burglarized and you call the police to file a report. Three weeks later you get a “Burglary Report” bill in the mail.

If we start paying á la carte fees for city services we are already paying for, this will never end. Let’s end this “fee-ing” frenzy now.

On a more fun note, come on out to the Fish Fry this weekend at Lions Park. It’s 11 a.m. to 10 p.m. today and Sunday. I will be working behind the counter Sunday this year, serving the best fish anywhere. The money goes to support all the great causes our local Lions Club gets behind.

JIM RIGHEIMER is a Costa Mesa planning commissioner, a local developer and a GOP activist. He may be reached at jim@rigonomics.com.