Sounding Off:

Our nation has a problem, and I have a prospective solution.

Our problem is the prison at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. Every Democrat from the president on down, plus John McCain, arguably a near-Democrat, wants to close this facility. Even though the prisoners at Gitmo are overfed, enjoy a nice gym and yoga training, first-rate health care, religious freedom and the oversight of the Red Cross, there’s some issue regarding their treatment.

Presumably the powers that be want to bring all 250 or so remaining bloodthirsty terrorist killers to the U.S. and put them in a supermax prison someplace in solitary for 23 hours a day. Until they’re freed, that is, and given welfare and Social Security. Everyone but the aforementioned political class believes these folks are just fine right where they are. But the leftist leadership argues that our reputation throughout the world has suffered because we chose to incarcerate non-uniformed enemy combatants captured on the battlefield trying to kill our soldiers and Marines.

Shame on us. We have to do something, and do it soon, if we are to ever again be invited to cocktail parties at the French Embassy.

My solution is simple. We take a page from the Louisiana Legislature’s playbook. A few years back, the statehouse at Baton Rouge was being picketed daily by the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. The PETA folks were all upset because Louisiana was the last state in the union to permit cockfighting. Picket they did until those canny Louisiana lawmakers came up with a brilliant solution. They enacted a law removing chickens from the animal kingdom and declaring them to be “plants.” Yes, they really did. The PETA people, not having anything against cruelty to plants, folded their tent and went on home.

How does that relate to Gitmo? We simply change its name to the Western Caribbean Jihadist Reeducation Resort and Spa. Who could be against any place with “resort” and “spa” in its name?

The terrorists stay safely confined offshore, no spending millions to close the place and no more hand-wringing, wimpy, liberal outrage. Problem over. See how creative thinking can resolve thorny situations?

CHUCK CASSITY lives in Costa Mesa.