In Theory

Nothing less than equal is fair or just. I will continue to struggle for equal marriage rights because separate but equal is just not equal. A civil union is not the same as a marriage.

There are two ways to fix this injustice. One: Every couple, regardless of sexual orientation, can receive a marriage license and get married and be recognized by the state.

Or two: Every couple obtains a license for a civil union and unites in a state-sanctioned union. If this is the case, couples can turn to their religious traditions, or other types of officiants to preside over their wedding ceremonies. This will give marriage back to the faith communities, and take the civil piece out of it.

To tell the truth, as much as I enjoy officiating at weddings, I am not an employee of the state. I have never fully understood why, in a society that believes in separation of church and state, a pastor ordained by the church is authorized to act on behalf of the government. I believe I act on behalf of God and the faith community I represent.

Houses of faith should be free to marry whoever they feel is deemed fit to marry (or whoever they don’t feel is deemed fit to marry)! So if we’re going to rely upon our faith to decide what marriage is (based on whatever tradition one chooses to lift-up) then marriage itself needs to be relegated to the faith community and not the state. If this is the case, then the state needs to get out of the marriage business. Otherwise, the church does.

So, yes, I would give up my authority to act on behalf of the state to officiate marriages, if the state would stop authorizing marriage and only authorize civil unions. Then I would be more than happy to officiate and sanctify marriages in wedding ceremonies.

The Rev. Sarah Halverson

Fairview Community Church

Costa Mesa

No. The way I interpret the question is that you say that marriage should be a religious rite and that a civil union is a contract that implies that two individuals choose to live as one.

However, in a Jewish marriage they are both of these rites, civil and religious.

A rabbi performs prayers over the couple religiously; it too is a contractual business contract the same as a civil union only under a chuppah (canopy) with vows that binds the couple by Jewish law. A marriage contract, ketubah, is signed before the ceremony. A man and a woman promise each other specific pledges that have been passed down for centuries, prescribed by Jewish law and Jewish tradition according to roles that the partners play in the marriage. These are sacred contractual promises.

So, in a sense, the rabbi is acting the same as the judge in contractual obligations by both the bride and the groom, also with rings and sacred vows. The irony is that the Jewish vows are to be bound by the law of Moses and the traditions of Israel. This is in no way any different than what the judge is doing according to civil law.

Secondly, what I do as a rabbi gives the couple a spiritual blessing that a civil marriage lacks. Inviting God into a marriage is crucial for every couple. Invoking God’s name in a marriage is something I never want to see anyone lose, since spirituality is important in every marriage.

The Christian benediction and the Jewish benediction are the same that begin “May the Lord bless you and Keep You.” These words are found in the Bible and date back more than 3,000 years. I am not willing to give that up as a rabbi in a ceremony saying these words over the couple.

I believe that marriages are made in heaven and should not be judged by any man or woman or any kind of couple who want to live together. In these times, money should be spent for other reasons on both sides of Proposition 8. You are not going to change the way people want to live, no matter what you call their union.

Rabbi Marc Rubenstein

Temple Isaiah