Comments & Curiosities:
It’s a problem. Headlines can be deceptive. When I read “Naked Iguana House On Sale” (July 3), I thought it was a story about a bit of Newport Beach history that I missed.
Naked Iguana House didn’t ring a bell, but it was obviously historic, like the China House in Corona del Mar, sort of, and now, it was being sold. How sad. One more piece of our collective past up for grabs, on the block, soon to be subjected to the whims and wants of the highest bidder.
Why had I never heard of the Naked Iguana House? How embarrassing. I’m supposed to know these things. The photo that accompanied the story wasn’t much help. Unlike the China House, which looks very, well, Chinese, there was nothing about the Naked Iguana House that I could tell that looked liked an iguana, evoked an iguana, or resembled any other reptile in any way. But as it turned out, there was no need to worry.
The Naked Iguana House is, in fact, a private home on the Balboa Peninsula owned by Newport Beach resident Jim Jones. The house as not named for an iguana, nude or otherwise, but for a bar by that name in Lake Havasu, Arizona, which is where the London Bridge is, which I still don’t get.
The Naked Iguana House owes its moment in the media spotlight not to history, but to a long-running dispute with the City of Newport Beach, which suspects that the Naked Iggy is in fact a commercial enterprise, a party house to be exact, available for rent to anyone who has the bling.
The city believes that Jones rents it out for, hmm, social events and as a film location, although if you’re looking for a place for your daughter’s sweet sixteen party or your aunt’s 80th birthday — I’m pretty sure the Naked Iguana House is not it. Jim J. says the allegations are pish-tosh, they deserve a big “Oh hah!” and says the city has been mean and unpleasant to him for no reason.
He says that he has never rented the house out for ragers, reptiles, remotes or anything else and has even invited city officials to come by and check out La Casa Iguana Nuda for themselves.
A number of them have done exactly that, including code enforcement inspectors who wrote down an impressive list of building code violations and the Newport Beach police, who dropped by unannounced last year and found 24 grams of cocaine and more than 200 Valium pills in the house.
I wish people would call first. Jones claims the bust was part of an ongoing campaign of harassment by the city and that the coke and the Valium belonged to a construction worker who was working on the house. Personally, I think you should always make sure contractors are licensed, bonded and not snorting coke and downing Valium by the handful before they start hacking at the drywall and rewiring stuff, but that’s just me.
Now, Jim Jones has decided that, like Chief Joseph of the Nez Perce, he will fight no more forever. “I’m tired of fighting,” Jones said. “I can’t fight City Hall, so screw it, I’m just going to start over.”
I’m good with that, but my question is: Start over doing what? The house has its very own website, nakediguanahouse.com, which explains why the City might be just a little teeny bit suspicious about what goes on there.
“Located in the heart of Newport Beach,” the website boasts, “Nightly rentals for one-night events; home available for on set shooting locations for film studios; full restaurant style kitchen; parties are more than welcome!” It lists some of the Naked Iggy’s amenities as, “…a full restaurant style outdoor bar, 4 plasma televisions, indoor Jacuzzi, rooftop patio…,” and the piece de resistance — not one but two stripper poles “….available free for special events.” I’m not sure I understand.
The stripper poles are free if it’s a “special event,” but if it’s just a regular event, they’re extra? How does that work exactly and who gets to decide if an event is special or not? The site is also shot through with pictures of people who are almost entirely female, young, not overly dressed, and if they were ever involved in Junior League, do not appear to be at this time. None of that matters claims Jones, who insists he has never rented the place out, and that he set up the website as a lark — even though the site includes a four-page rental agreement with a lot of legalese in really small type that doesn’t look like it was all that much fun to write, but it is not our place to judge.
The saga of the Naked Iguana House is one more lesson that if you live long enough, sooner or later, everything old is new again. While the Naked Iguana House didn’t ring a bell, the story certainly did, and I finally remembered why. It was in Costa Mesa, about 10 years ago, when “The Panther Palace,” a modest house on a quiet street, became national news. Were the parties at The Panther Palace any wilder and woolier than the Naked Iguana House? Not really, but it did have a hook that the Naked Iggy didn’t — The Panther Palace was owned and occupied by one “Wild Bill” Goodwin who was in his 70s and had assembled a clientele that were also in their seventies, or more. It might be Valium everywhere at the Naked Iguana House, but I’ll bet it was Advil and Aleve at The Panther Palace.
And there you have it…naked iguanas, nightly rentals and plasma screens. It really is a whole new world. If you’re interested, fill out the rental app, and if you want the free stripper poles, make sure you tell them your event is special. Party planning is important, but in these tough times everyone needs to tighten their belt. I gotta go.
PETER BUFFA is a former Costa Mesa mayor. His column runs Sundays. He may be reached at ptrb4@aol.com . PETER BUFFA is a former Costa Mesa mayor. His column runs Sundays. He may be reached at ptrb4@aol.com .
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